by admin ·
DENVER—Seeking to create a shopping environment more inviting to potential customers, Blue News Adult Books and Novelties announced Monday that it had opened an in-store café. “Now people can enjoy a latte and a black currant scone while they’re thumbing through the latest issue of Furry Femmes or Cunts Who Put Out,” bookstore owner Ronald Powers said as he sprayed bleach on the seat of a booth. “They come in for the coffee and the free Wi-Fi, but then browse around and wind up buying a bottle of Slip-N-Glide and a King Dong. We’re offering a personalized experience you just can’t get from online retailers.” Powers added that the café would serve only the finest Guatemalan fair-trade coffees and the filthiest, most exploitative all-anal action available in print.