NiniaPimp Magazine

To Whom it May Concern:

I am writing to express my interest in being another sheet of paper that you skim. Due to my palpable lack of marketable skills, I am confident that I can make myself completely forgettable in the space of a few paragraphs. You will see that I am highly capable of this. I have two bachelor’s degrees. I’m sure that the following embellishments of my misspent life will make you want my sweaty, unfit body to be near yours in an office every weekday for many years. LOOK AT ME! Are you looking at me? Good.

Now I’m going to start lying about being good at the position you are offering. I will begin by making a completely empty statement by saying that I think I can be a valuable member of your team. I saw “Remember the Titans” twice in theaters. What a team they were, huh? That’s just one example of the empty logic I am employing in order to pass off my substandard abilities as the exact qualities of a desirable candidate. Additionally, I have extensive experience using computers, often for web games and porno. Ergo, I can meet the challenges of this tech-savvy position because, for the purposes of this cover letter, all computer skills are the same computer skill. And did you know that I went to college? That’s probably where I learned to waste people’s time.

I have also interned at several places. I spent the bulk of those internships thinking about mentioning them here, to you. Wow, I can’t believe I haven’t used the word “qualifications” yet. Oh shit, here it comes. I have many qualifications:

-I am well-versed in Microsoft Office. That’s real impressive, so long as you pretend that we live in a nomadic tribe of hunter-gatherers. Pretend harder.

-I have great organizational skills and can juggle multiple tasks simultaneously. I most likely gained both of these skills by pulling them directly out of my ass.

-I am enthusiastic and creative. For fuck’s sake, I might as well have put down “palm reading” or “unicorn breeding” here.

To reiterate, you have spent part of your life reading this. I think I have demonstrated my initiative, ambition, and enterprise, as well as my ownership of a thesaurus. I am excited to deprive you of more valuable time by further discussing my qualifications with you via telephone. This will allow me to elaborate on my qualifications, to conceal my dull personality with buzzwords, and to discuss the passions and hobbies that really make me, well, me–including an exuberant explanation of my masturbation addiction and its surprising, multifaceted relevance to this job.

Sincerely,

Some young guy who thinks he’s slick, but is in for a rude awakening

It doesn’t surprise anyone that cats are this easily susceptible to drug use, does it? Their brain when there’s a laser pointer in the room is the exact same chemical compound that ecstasy is made of.

This works for literally anything that’s green—apples, crayons, money. Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em! Honestly though, real life recycling seems SO DUMB right now.

Sidenote: Garry is married to Marilyn Manson’s sister, Meg Manson. Their daughter is actually Katy Perry, but they’re a little uncomfortable admitting that.

Poor Gay Robot. He just got out of that emotionally abusive relationship with C-3PO and now has to deal with more rejection. At least he doesn’t have to pretend to understand that idiot R2D2 anymore.

Blind people be trippin’! For real, they are unfortunately more prone to falling all over themselves due to their condition. Especially if they outright ignore the fact that they are blind and attempt to go about life like that’s an okay thing to do.

Here is a list of safer places to propose to your girlfriend: anywhere else. Seriously, now that we’re getting out of Iraq, hockey games are statistically the most violent place in the world. Google it.

My brother used to get so pissed at me during Legends of the Hidden Temple when the team I chose would beat his. He rationalized that my team could hear me cheering for them better than his and so his team’s morale was lower, I guess. I’m just glad we never took things this far.

Which is worse: having to wear a condom to get laid or the fact that you now “…have a whole office of penis screamers.” Safe sex, guys. It’s for your own good.

If someone comes by to see their childhood home which you now occupy, you are legally obligated to allow their nostalgic trip down memory lane by inviting them inside. They don’t even need your permission, this was their house first, bitch! Step the f*ck aside! Fine! Call the cops! Like I care! Aww, look, that’s how tall I was when I was 11. That was my growth spurt year, for sure.

Remember that time you tried to eat the hemp necklace you got for your 12th birthday because you knew it was made of the same thing as weed and you were sure it would get you high? No reason, that was just a really dumb thing to do.

Following is a short, multiple-choice test to help you match your special genre of douchery with the appropriate institution of higher learning. Simply read the choices and circle the letter that best fits you for each question. A scoring guide follows at the end.

Your car is:

A. Your mother’s 1998 Saab with leaky sunroof and peeling “Why is there always money for war but not for education?” bumper sticker.
B. Getting detailed at the BMW specialist (really expensive, but good) just off campus.
C. A fixed-gear bicycle with vintage saddle and Stumptown Coffee drink holder.
D. Tailored to look almost exactly like Lucas Black’s car from Tokyo Drift.
E. Public transport, preferably hybrid bus or light rail, but even if it’s an old Dodge Caravan, it’s the principle of the thing.
F. Still sporting a little blood on the hood from transporting a sixteen-point buck.
G. Impounded after third DUI, even though you were barely over the limit.
H. Named “The Nut Crusher.”

Your defining high school sexual experience:

A. Getting a handjob forced on you by a drunk girl from the lacrosse team.
B. Quickie in the bathroom at the Boom Boom Room in Buckhead.
C. Six hours of intensive, Ecstasy-fuelled skin-touching on a sofa in your friend’s basement while letting LCD Soundsystem penetrate and tingle your pores.
D. Dad buying you a lap dance from his regular girl at the Circus Club.
E. Fifty-yard-high club! (Blow job on chairlift.)
F. Missionary on the seventeenth fairway at the Peachtree Golf Club’s “Hawaiian Night.”
G. Cheerleader-on-lax-player roleplay in girlfriend’s basement.
H. Cousin.

Your defining drug experience until now:

A. Half an Ativan before extemporaneous speaking event at state debate finals.
B. Not so much coke that it’s, like, a problem.
C. Whatever seems avant-garde. (Mark C)
D. Crushed Adderall and pimiento-loaf sandwich.
E. Using the know-how from the elementary apple bong to build a wall-mounted pneumatic pumpkin bong.
F. Drugs are for commies and degenerates.
G. It was always available at parties, but it wasn’t a big deal.
H. Your mother’s arrest for cooking meth.

Your views on liberal arts education:

A. “Its decline is challenged only by the rise of digital culture as the greatest threat to human thought in modern times.”
B. “Are there a lot of papers?”
C. “What else is there?”
D. “Whatever they have at University of Delaware.”
E. “You know what’d be good? Peanut butter on a Mallomar.”
F. “Is that what my daddy had?”
G. “It doesn’t really matter, I will end up on top.”
H. “Back off, gaywad.”

If football team wins a national championship, would most likely:

A. Transfer to Bowdoin, to get away from these jerks.
B. Get bottle service.
C. Not care, and maybe not even notice.
D. Play video games.
E. Road-trip to the Canyonlands of Utah.
F. Put on a blue blazer, fill your flask with good whisky, and engage in a campus tradition on the lawn. Then call your daddy to bail you out.
G. Consider it affirmation of your personal worthiness and your destiny to get whatever you want in life.
H. Raze the campus to smoldering embers.

INTERPRETING THE RESULTS

Now that you’ve finished, count up the number of times you selected each letter: the number of As, Bs, Cs, etcetera. Now see which letter you picked most often. Below is an assessment of the type of douchebag you are, and a description of the school where you belong, based on that letter.

If there is a preponderance of:
As: Incestuously cloistered Northeastern douche: You will be happy at Amherst, Williams, Swarthmore, Bates, Bowdoin, Vassar, or any of the smaller, difficult, unfun schools like them. Though “happy” might not be the right word.
Bs: Expensive mediocre private school douche: See entries for Emory, Boston University, USC, Bard, Tulane.
Cs: Hipster douche: You’ll find your natural habitat at such schools as Brown, Wesleyan, Reed, Oberlin, McGill, and wherever threeways are called “experimental” instead of “rad.”
Ds: You belong at the University of Delaware, cuz.
Es: University of Hackysack douche: Seek acceptance at Boulder, Vermont, Oregon, or anywhere the String Cheese Incident tours.
Fs: SEC douche: There’s only one conference for you. And please remember that.
Gs: Elite douche: You belong at Princeton, Harvard, Duke, Stanford (except in the computer science or engineering departments), or other schools whose reputation and exclusivity—though not necessarily academic opportunities—are paramount.
Hs: Welcome to the Big Twelve. Go Sooners!

See more in the full book, America’s Douchiest Colleges

PETER LITTLETON is an expert on higher education, a father, a seeker, and an old soul. He has two beautiful wiemaraners, one named Descartes and the other named Mitch Albom. He says it’s all the philosophy he needs. He likes long walks on the beach; three-alarm chili; Death by Chocolate; bathing suits that don’t ride up; half-rainbows; eating, praying, loving; and the smell of freshly-mown grass. He is a lifelong Dodgers fan, to the point of even liking Steve Garvey, and Steve Garvey’s second wife. As a child, he owned a Shetland pony named Ginger, and two gerbils named Florida International and Duke. He dabbles in photography, makes his own pickles, and gets nourishment from the love of his sweet, gentle wife. He likes to laugh. He loves life. This is his fifty-second book.

H. L. ROGERS is a bitter, lonely man who begrudges others their happiness.

The Buzzillions team generally stands back and lets the consumer do the talking. But from time to time we’d like to share our experiences in working with the thousands and thousands of consumers writing reviews everyday.

PITTSBURGH—In order to deepen some holes in their lineup and increase their chances of a second-half collapse, the Pittsburgh Pirates acquired first baseman Derrek Lee and outfielder Ryan Ludwick Sunday. “They’re both experienced losers who we’re hoping will come in here and help us surge right to the bottom of the NL Central,” Pirates general manager Neal Huntington said in a statement, adding that after six consecutive losses, the team is now poised to make a last-place run. “Not only do we think they’ll take our offense and defense to a whole new level of horrible, but overall, I think this will prove to Pirate fans that this team is committed to losing for years to come.” Huntington reportedly urged young players not to rely on their new stars, emphasizing that a successful nosedive would require everyone to play like shit.

The Bruiser Weight, Maze – Pitt Exclusive Interview

Posted on 18 December 2010 by SnowMan Jones

The Bruiser Weight, Maze

by SnowMan Jones
I recently had a moment to sit down with independent wrestler Maze.  Coined the Bruiser Weight, Maze runs Ultimate Wrestling’s school, and is one of the most noteworthy wrestlers on the Gulf Coast of Florida.

Thanks for doing this interview with  http://www.MarcusPitt.com

How are you doing today? I’m doing great

Can you tell us a little about yourself? What is your name? Where do you wrestle? What basic height and weight or other stats would you like to share? I am “The Bruiser Weight” Maze and I wrestler for Ultimate Wrestling in Pensacola fl. I am the current Cruiser Weight Champ and the only 3x Cruiser Weight Champion in UW history. I am also the head trainer at that UW training camp. My height and weight are not important as I beat the holy hell out of anyone that gets in my way.

How can a promoter book you, and in what areas do you primarily wrestle? I can be book through my facebook page or through http://www.ultimatewrestling.org . You can also email me at neweramaze@yahoo.com for booking info. I mainly stay in the Gulf Coast but are open to other areas if my time permits.

How did you break into wrestling? Who trained you, and what was your first year like? I had some experience in Pro Wrestling back in NY with some free seminars and one of those being Larry Sharpes Monster Factory, but I got my real start with Bobby Dolls Pensacola Wrestling Alliance. So I was trained by one of the Gulf Coasts finest. My first year was great, I had some great battles with my old tag team partner Justin Cruze(formally of New Era) Cruze and I won our first tag team titles within our first year if my memory is correct.

Who do you enjoy wrestling the most? I used to enjoy wrestling Cruze when we were not getting along because we brought out the best in eachother and really put on some great matches, which a few were posted on shot of the week and we also got match of the year for our TLC match.

What are the biggest names that you have wrestled? Well I was on the same team as Scott Armstrong and have been involved in shows with Rick Steiner, Buff Bagwell, Paul Bearer, Raven, One Man Gang, Gangrel and Luna, theres more in there somewhere but I cannot think of them. I had a great match with Steven Anthony.

So can you tell us about any injuries you have had that are wrestling related? I have a back defect known as PARS defect(google it) its something with my vertebrae. Here is the defenition I guess….Spondylolysis is a defect of a vertebra. The great majority of cases occur in the lowest of the lumbar vertebrae (L5), but spondylolysis may also occur in the other lumbar vertebrae, as well as in the thoracic vertebrae.

What wrestlers did you enjoy watching as a kid? Did you use them as role models in your career? I enjoyed watching the Rockers as my brother and I always emulated them. My brother had to be Shawn Michaels because his middle name is Michael and of course I had to be Marty..(not that its bad thing..lol) I also liked Rey Mysterio back in the WCW days. I never really used them as a role model in my career as I always wanted to be original and not cop any known wrestler. I have my own style, I feel I do..

Do you have any websites or upcoming events you would like to promote? check out http://www.ultimatewrestling.org were you can find out about the latest shows and promo videos.

We also run a website called http://www.Wrestling911.com. Have you been there? If so, what do you think about it? I am a member of wrestling911 and I think it is a great tool to promote yourself or your show. Even tho that Snowman is a tool..lol Ask him about his run in with New Era

That’s right.  You did kick my ass a lot.  Is there anything else you would like to talk about? I found a quote that I feel is very true. “In order to excel, you must be completely dedicated to your chosen sport. You must also be prepared to work hard and be willing to accept destructive criticism. Without 100% dedication, you won’t be able to do this.”

Thank you for your time.
No, thank you and remember…………. I’M THE GREATEST!!!!!

Butch Long – Indy Wrestler Interview

Posted on 20 December 2010 by SnowMan Jones

Butch Long is a former WCW wrestler who currently wrestles in the state of Florida. He, Marc Mandrake, Donnie York, Ferrari, and Star Stevens comprise the successful tag team known as the Highwaymen. Their primary stomping grounds are DWI, ASW, and FU Wrestling. He is also making a name for himself in WXW. Let’s see what Butch has to say!

Butch, it is great to have you here in the Pitt! Can you tell us a little about how you got started?
I trained at Larry Sharpe’s Monster Factory and trained by Jimmy Delray just before he became a HEAVENLY Body for the WWF.
Trained with Buck Quartermaine, NavySEAL, Leroy Howard ,Bill Payne.

How was that? The first year was fun had my first match with Bill Payne at the Sportatoriam. He would end up my tag team partner of 12 years and as The Bounty Hunters. We would feud with The Southern Posse, The Hitmen Cris Nelson and Dennis Allan.

Who did you like working with?
It really doesn’t matter who you like working the most but back in the day the Dynamite Express had very good matches with the Bounty Hunters. Mike Sullivan and his partner Emory Hail worked well when we called ourselves The Bomb Squad, and in IPW as Inner Aggression we had memorable match with Chaotic Cult.

What big names have you worked?
Biggest names wow had the pleasure of being in the ring with Ric Flair, Honkey Tonk Man, Jerico, the Steiner Brothers, the Road Warriors, the Rock and Roll Express, Public Enemy, Chris Benoit, Onita Masato, Tanaka, Hyabusa to name a few,

Can you tell us about your list of injuries? About 1996 I was trying to do a spinning leg scissors. The move messed up my knee for a long time had to wear a titanium brace!

I am sorry to hear that. Can you tell us who you liked when you were young?
As a kid, I liked Ivan Putski, Road Warriors, the Freebirds, Magnum TA, Terry Funk, and Dick Slater. I try to use my peers as examples

Is there anything you would like to promote? What about FU Wrestling?
Come out and see The Highwaymen at Gasoline Ally in Largo on 66th St. It is at 8:30 on Tuesdays. ASW is at Stroker’s Billiards on West Hillsboro Avenue in Tampa on Friday nights. Bell time is 8PM. Also, DWI is at the Showman’s Event center on Jan 13th through the 16th.

Don’t you also work WXW?
Yes. Please check out WXW in Minneola, Florida on Jan 15th!

What websites do you like?
I enjoy www.wrestling911.com. It is an informative website that covers the entire state. It doesn’t just cover one or two companies.

Anything else you want to talk about?
Just be watching for The Highwaymen to be rolling into town near you as we set out on path to tag team supremacy in 2011.

Thanks for the plug, Butch! Best of luck to you and the Highwaymen in 2011!

Roxxi Laveaux better know as Nikki Roxx on the Independent circuit made her debut on March 2001 after being trained by Killer Kowalski. Soon after, she formed a tag-team with April Hunter called The Killer Babes. It was April Hunter who originally convinced her to try-out at Killer Kowalski’s school, so a tag-team pairing was fitting. She quickly became one of the top female wrestlers on the independent circuit and also made strides in Mexico. The road led her to winning such title as the PGWA Championship, DPW Women’s Championship and many more.

On July 15th 2007 at TNA Wrestling’s Victory Road pay-per-view, she made her TNA debut as “The Voodoo Queen” Roxxi Laveaux aligning herself with the Voodoo Kin Mafia (Kip James & B.G. James). She immediately began a rivalry against Christy Hemme, and began participating in TNA’s Women’s Division.

We recently interviewed April Hunter. I know you’ve wrestled her. What do you think of April?

Well, April is the reason I am a professional wrestler. She was the one who talked me into giving it a try and since that day I have not stopped! I think April is a great wrestler and has a great look. I think any promoter would benefit having her apart of their roster.

What is your ultimate goal in wrestling?

My ultimate goal is to kick ass and enjoy every minute I am in the ring! Of course there is WWE or TNA but ultimately you only live once and why spend the time doing something you don’t love and enjoy.

What would you consider your favorite match?

I’ve had so many great opportunities it’s hard to pick just one match. You learn so much from each one. If I have to pick just one it would be my match against Susan Greene. She has been wrestling for close to 30 years. I learned so much just in that match!

Compared to other female wrestlers, how do you rate yourself?

I think we are all pretty equal. I don’t see anyone as better or less than me. All of us have different talents and when you can bring those talents together they make for a great match.

What do you think of other female wrestlers? Maybe you can tell us your thoughts on Chyna, Trish Stratus, and Tracy Brooks.

I think any girl that can get in the ring in front of a crowd and take the onslaught of the crowd’s comments is a hero. Not only that but just get in there and show everyone that girls are good wrestlers too. It’s an amazing thing.
As for Chyna, she was a pioneer for the girls. She wasn’t some Barbie doll or super model. She was a bodybuilder and she got in there and gave the guys a run for their money. She was my hero! Trish Stratus is great! You saw her first as the valet to T&A (Test and Albert). Then through the years you see her progress into the wrestler she is today. She’s done an amazing job and it motivates me. I see how she worked hard and it paid off.
I’ve actually had the honor to wrestle Tracy a couple times. I enjoy watching her matches and I’m so proud and happy to see how far wrestling has taken her. She totally deserves it!

What got you interested in wrestling?

I’ve always watched wrestling. It was a family thing to sit down and watch wrestling. Then as I got older my mom would bring me to Boston Garden to see the shows. But, I always just thought the wrestlers just showed up and wrestled. I had no idea there was actual training for this sort of thing.
So, one of my buddies asked for me to go to Killer Kowalski’s Wrestling Institution with him and I did. From there I met April Hunter and the rest is history.

Where do you see yourself in five years?

Kicking ass of course!

What’s your favorite TV show and what do you do for fun?

I love ESPN’s Cold Pizza and Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends on Cartoon Network. I love cartoons! Thank you God for making Cartoon Network! .
For fun I love going to the gym, movies, reading comics (yes I love comics too!), and just having fun! Oh yea! And watching wrestling tapes and DVDs!

Do you have any workout tips for us?

Don’t call it dieting! It is limiting your food intake. And, give yourself one meal a week to have whatever you want. But, only one meal! It helps you stay dedicated to your limited food intake.

Is there anything you would like to say to your fans?

I’d like to thank each and every one of them. They are always so great to me! Thank you for your support!

Have you ever seen our site before? What do you think of NinjaPimp?

I think you guys are great! I’m honored to do the interview with NinjaPimp! I’m sure I will make all the other chick wrestlers jealous!

What’s something not many people know about you?

Normally, it’s the comic book thing. No one ever suspects I’m THAT much of a dork but I totally am! I love comics!

Well, thanks for the interview… it has been fun!

Juggernaut, Wrestling Interview
Juggernaut is a 6’4″ 390 lb monster who was undefeated in 2004. He’s been seen in WCW, but he calls ECCW his home.

Ninjapimp.com likes to profile up and coming wrestling stars, but you have already had your fair share of success. What are some of the championships you have held? Oh man… I can’t even remember most of the titles I’ve held over the years. I’ll try to think of a few of them… I am the current and six time ECCW / NWA Pacific Northwest Champion…. Steve Corino used to run a wrestling company called PWF out of PA, I was the first ever PWF Extreme Champion…. ummm… I’ve had a few tag titles along the way with guys like Dr. Luther and Apocalypse (The Shadow from New Japan)… I think the total is somewhere around 20 titles in just under 10 years…. something like that.

Didn’t you also work with WCW? Did you have a tag team partner back then? I did a little work with WCW back in the day, basically appeared on TV once and got paid to sit around and eat in catering a couple other times. The TV appearance was an opening match on WCW Thunder in 2000 where myself and a couple other guys took on the STELLAR (I hope you can sense my sarcasm) tag team of Kronik in a 2 minute super squash match. That was the day that I truly found out that it didn’t matter how good you are to make good money and get a good push in a major wrestling company.

What else can you tell us about your WCW experience? WCW was a sinking ship when I worked for them. They were pretty much dead and buried and were just waiting for the dirt to get thrown on the casket. The locker room was a little bit tense because everyone knew they would soon be unemployed. Some of the guys obviously had gained enough recognition to move on to the WWE or get consistent bookings internationally, but alot of the guys came out of the WCW power plant and had no chance of making it anywhere else. I just consider myself lucky to have met a few great guys that happened to be working for WCW at the time. I received alot of really good feedback from the guys in charge at the time, and in fact I was told that I would have been offered some kind of developmental deal if the company was not going under… that was a nice confidence booster.

Where did you get the name Juggernaut. We originally know then name from the Marvel comics character. Though I think the Marvel character Juggernaut is about the most badass villain of all time, my use of the name actually has nothing to do with comics at all. Before I received my black belt in Judo, I was undefeated in every Judo tournament I had ever entered. My sensei said that he though I was the unstoppable force, and that I should be called Juggernaut. When I finally did get my black belt in 1996, my sensei got the name Juggernaut embroidered onto my Judo gi. Irony bit me in the ass when I lost my first fight as a black belt… but the name stuck, and I just couldn’t think of anything else when it was time to break into the wrestling business.

This year’s PWI 500 lists you at 292. That puts you ahead of Zach Gowan, Axl Rotten, Bob Sapp, and a bunch of other big names. What do you think of the list? I hold a special place in my heart for the PWI 500. Since I was a young Juggernaut I used to buy the magazine every year, and read all the bios in it from 500 all the way to #1. The magazine takes alot of abuse every year from the self proclaimed “Smart” marks of the world, but you have to take it for what it is. A lot of the guys on that list would never get any press at all if it wasn’t for the 500. It’s always interesting to see where I end up every year… I don’t put a lot of stock into being rated ahead of the guys you named. It’s kinda cool seeing myself move up a little every year… I’m on the right track, if I keep it up, I should be in the top 10 by the time I am 80 years old!

We think you should have been listed higher. Who else do you think are some of the underrated guys that should be higher up on that list? I appreciate people thinking I should be higher on the list, I know that I give people their moneys worth every time I step in the ring, and that’s all I can do… Do I think I am better than some of the guys ahead of me?…. there is no doubt I am, but being in Canada, and being in the west is never good for getting too much press or exposure in a magazine that is based oout of the east coast of the USA. As for guys that being rated higher…. I think I can probably name at least 20 guys that never even made the list that I would easily consider them some of the top wrestlers on earth. But like I said, you have to take the list for what it is, and as mad as some people get about it, you really need to respect the fact that a major Pro Wrestling magazine is giving some press to some guys that would normally not ever see their names in print.

Some people underestimate your marital arts skills. Don’t you hold 2 black belts? I don’t think anyone underestimates my martial arts skills, but it’s normally not something I walk around talking about all the time. Every once in a while I throw some Judo stuff into my matches to keep people thinking. I am very proud of what I achieved in the world of Martial Arts. I earned a First degree black belt in Judo in 1996 and a first degree black belt in a traditional form of Japanese Jujitsu in 1997. Unfortunately, as my wrestling schedule got busier and busier, my opportunities to train in Judo and Jujitsu became less. Once I am done with the wrestling business, I’m sure I will at least return to Judo which I absolutely love.

It sounds like you are a regular ninja. You also have some pimping skills. Can you tell us about your juggernaut chicks? Also, didn’t you have an manager? Who is she? I’m no Ninja, but I am seen quite often wandering wearing Tabi shoes (Ninja shoes), they are the most comfortable shoes on earth. I do ok when it comes to the ladies, I have no complaints… I love the Juggerchicks… I love them all in their own special ways. I’ll admit that I’ve been dropping the ball getting some new pictures up there for everyone though, I’ll work on it….. A couple of them are good friends of mine that just like seeing themselves on the internet…. A couple are ex girlfriends… and a couple are just flat out dirty tramps…. but they are good for the business. I’ve had a couple managers / valets in my time…. but nothing really worth talking about…. Except Princess Lily…. she’s the best!

Can you tell us about your website, Juggernaut t-shirts, and shocker clothes? I’ve had a website since about 1997, but juggernaut-wrestling.com has been online since about 1999. A website is the absolute best way for people to keep up to date with what their favorite wrestlers are up to. With so many guys and so little mainstream press, the internet is absolutely essential in keeping your name in the mix. The Juggernaut merchandise on my website right now is pretty much crap, nothing to write home about, but if someone really wants to have a shirt it gives a couple options. The Shocker clothing is absolutely brilliant… Shocker is a company that started up here in Calgary a couple years ago, and when I saw it I need to find out more… so I worked out a small advertising deal with the owner of the company… funny stuff…. Two in the pink…. one in the stink!

Back to the ring. What are some of your more painful ring experiences? One of my most painful I remember is actually one of my most recent… I was recently in a match down in Idaho with Maniac Matt Borne (AKA the Original Doink the Clown) with Mick Foley as a special guest referee. At one point I turned around in the ring to see Matt in full swing with the ring bell, by the time I saw it, it was WAY too late to try and bring a hand up and block it… I could have sworn someone shut the lights out for a quick second and I found out when I got home that I was the proud owner of another concussion, and a very minor nerve pinch in my neck from the lovely ring bell. The neck still hurts now over a month after it happened. Other than that I have had too many painful things happen in the ring to really pinpoint any in particular… most of the time I am more dangerous to myself than anyone else is to me.

What was your most triumphant moment in the ring? I’m not sure what I would consider a triumphant moment in the ring… I set some goals for myself when I first started wrestling, and topping that list was wrestling in Japan, which I have done now many times. I enjoy wrestling and the people I know through wrestling so much, that every time I go to a building for a show it’s triumphant. No matter when I decide to hang up the boots, I am confident that I can look back and be proud with what I have done. I appreciate everything from my first match ever, to this interview. I have been extremely fortunate to make a career out of what I love (and sometimes hate) for almost ten years….. I can’t think of anything bertter than that.

With that, I thank you for your time. Fans, please check out Juggernaut Wrestling