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Posts Tagged ‘internet explorer’

11.17
11

Parents Just Don’t Understand: #203

by admin ·

Do your parents not understand technology? Do they ask you stupid questions? Do they send you absurd text messages? If you’ve got an example of your “Parents Just Don’t Understanding”, submit it here!
And thank God we’ll never be as dumb as they are!

My mother doesn’t speak english, but she runs an internet business so she always asks me to translate for her. I showed her how to use Google Translate and even put it into her favorites tab. She now asks me how to open her favorite tab.
jeff kang

My mum got a new phone and just about managed to master the basic functions, but one day, after a weekend away, she comes to me in a panic saying that her phone has died. She said “The square comes on when I charge it, but it won’t switch on!” After going through the manual in detail with her, I discover that she’s been trying to turn it on using the call button “because it’s green and that means ‘on’…”
Leni H

Today I was helping my mom reset her password… after she was done she wanted to check her facebook. She closed the window and reopened it so it showed google again instead of her email. I told her she didn’t have to do that every time, she could just type it in in the url bar or search bar. She then looked at me and said in annoyed voice, “Yes I do Honey or else it isn’t google anymore… I only use google or there will be viruses.”
Gigi Edwards

My dad is still convinced that Dance-Dance Revolution is miniature twister.
George Walburn from Westburry

I was talking with my mom, trying to convince her to switch internet browsers. She keeps refusing to switch from internet explorer. When I asked her why, she told me she didn’t want to learn how to use a new internet again.
Max Udell

So my mum has an iPhone 4 but can’t use it for much more than texts and email. The other day her friend texted her a link asking her to help her choose some “towel rails.”
My mum took this really seriously that her friend wanted design advice, and asked me to help her look at it on the computer… even though she could have clicked the link in the text, I had to explain to her how to copy and paste it on the phone into her email, send it to herself, then open her email on the computer. She put her glasses on ready to look at it and everything…
At this picture that turned out to be two guys balancing towels on their privates!
Bunny McBun from KCL

My grandfather, who has a masters degree in civil engineering and has worked his entire life with electronic equipment came to our house once to check up on me and my sisters (my mother was out of town). He wanted to watch TV, but he couldn’t figure out how to turn on the screen.

When I tried to shout him instructions from upstairs (I was busy with schoolwork), he refused to listen and insisted that it was way to hard and I had to come downstairs and show him.

The “ON” button is literally the only one on the TV-screen, it is huge, located on the face of the screen and illuminated. I pressed the button and returned to my schoolwork.

This has happened 3 times since.
Sofie Anonymous

My mom got a smartphone about 4 months ago. Yesterday, we were eating with my grandparents and they asked her about her new phone. She proceeded to show them the contacts list, and how she has pictures of all of her contacts. She can also “click on the pictures to call people!” This was the only feature she showed them, and from further questioning, the only feature she knows about and/or uses.
Bryce K from NDSU

One day, my parents were trying to log into Netflix, but the website was having temporary server problems. My parents decided to google it, and they wound up on an web forum. Although most of the posts pretty much agreed that Netflix was having some technical difficulties and would be back up soon, my parents managed to zero in on the one all-caps post screaming about “HACKERS!!!!!!!” They flipped out and frantically began asking if they should change all of their passwords. Even after Netflix had apologized for the incident and was back up, they still wouldn’t believe that it was minor technical difficulties. According to them, “Netflix doesn’t have server problems!” I’m not even sure they know what a server is…
A. Nonymous

I got home from school one day to find my mom on my desktop. She couldn’t get her banking working on her laptop, so she decided to try it on mine.

She thought her banking was too slow, so she went into add/remove programs and deleted EVERYTHING. My games, Microsoft Office, all my software and somehow, everyone i asked has no idea how she did it, but she deleted the plugin the makes sound get transmitted to my speakers. No I have an empty computer with no sound, and she got the banking working on her computer.
Finley Wegener

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11.9
11

Work Sucks, I Know: Issue #63

by admin ·

Have a lousy job? Friends, family, and coworkers alike tired of listening to you complain? Well, send your stories here and lift some of the burden off of your already crushed soul. No drug test required.

I was working at a haunted house and my job was to basically get violently murdered every time a new group of kids came in. One time as the kids were clearing out, one of their dads groped me.
Elle B

A few weeks ago at the clothing store I work for, a woman came in demanding a refund for some destroyed-style jeans her daughter had purchased, which she claimed were damaged. I politely asked her if she could please point out the damage for me and hand me her receipt (which she didn’t have). She replied by asking me if I was “f*cking retarded” and motioned to the intentional rips down the front of the jeans.
Shannon C

I was babysitting a very spoiled little girl and her mother asked me to get her to clean her room before the maid came. The room was not that messy, but two soiled pull-ups lay on the floor. The little girl agrees to carry one pull-up to the trashcan downstairs, but proceeds to throw a 30 minute tantrum because I refused to dispose of the other pull-up for her. The girl was 8 years old.
Jan Mullen

Our only IT guy at work won’t let me download Firefox because he’s afraid it will give my computer a virus. Instead, I’ve been using an out-dated version of Internet Explorer.
Cara E

As I turned 16 I decided to get a job at McDonald’s. During my first hour, I was asked to work in the back-room, as the guy in their was having some problems, I was told. It turned out the guy couldn’t read (not so much of a problem with that, I’m just setting a scene).
Anyway, after the hour I was sent to learn French Fries. The guy teaching me was an odd sort – mainly as he didn’t utter a word to me. After 10 minutes, I saw he drop something into the vat of fat, just out the corner of my eye. He then went on to reach INTO the bubbling hot fat to fish it out whatever it was that he dropped. 5 minutes of screaming followed, he then went to the hospital.
After that some one got electrocuted playing with a plug socket.

Honest.
One love McD.
Michael Hopkin

Today a ‘fresh off the streets’ bum came into work looking for a job and we told him we were full staffed and not hiring. He was nice but kind of loopy and giggly. He then said he had a Louisville slugger bat at home that he would happily use on new hires’ kneecaps in order to get the job. He was laughing but, I don’t get the idea he was joking.
zed du

I used to work at a movie theater a 20 theater cineplex, and one day a big festival in town was rained out. We had three ushers on shift(the clean up people), and one had to tear tickets, well every movie was sold out, and the managers refused to call anyone in. Well the other usher and I had to push all the trash under the seats, and at the end of the day i left a note to the Night crew saying sorry, and why it was so dirty. the next day my manager chews me out for telling the night crew how he was to cheap to have some more people come in.
Justin a

I work in the IT Dept. We had a server crash over the weekend.

I came in on Monday and had our HR manager ask me to make sure we let her know in advance the next time it’s going to happen.
T P

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11.3
11

Parents Just Don’t Understand: #201

by admin ·

Do your parents not understand technology? Do they ask you stupid questions? Do they send you absurd text messages? If you’ve got an example of your “Parents Just Don’t Understanding”, submit it here!
And thank God we’ll never be as dumb as they are!

I asked my 76 year old Dad to put in his password on his computer in order to open it up. He said he tried but it always turned out to be just “X’s.”
Chris German

Mom: You sure you don’t want to come to Hayward with us? You can do your homework in the car can’t you?
Me: I need the internet to do research.
Mom: Then let’s take the internet with us.
Me: …
Chizuru M

Every professor I have ever had for any class, without fail, does not know about the full screen button on youtube videos.
Sera S

My grandfather never downloads anything to his computer at all because he is scared he might download a virus by accident. One day my little brother decided to play some flash games on a website, and my grandfather walked in and then started yelling at him for downloading the games and asking how much he paid for them. Then he quickly shut the computer down because “Maybe the payment hadn’t reached the other end yet and I will be able to get my money back.”

Also my mother who is a writer has a freakishly old computer that is too slow to do anything, and slows down when doing simple things like updating her blog. I keep trying to tell her to upgrade, but she doesn’t want to have to “learn the new system,” and when I tell her to at least use a web browser other than internet explorer she says “If I don’t use the internet then i will get a virus!”
herp mcderpinstein

My mother-in-law got “one of those smart andro-phones.” She was trying to figure out how to set up her voicemail but couldn’t figure out how to display the on-screen number pad. What resulted was a voicemail greeting that says “Debbie….. (long pause)….. That’s not what i wanted!!”

I love her.
Dan O

While at my parents’ house, my grandfather was saying that he wanted “to internet.” After explaining to him that its called the internet and you don’t go “internet-ing,” he asked how it worked. So after explaining to him that you type in the names of websites or search for web sites in order to read and watch stuff that interests you, he tried for four hours to master the use of the mouse and keyboard. Afterwards, he remarked that he just needed more practice. So I unplugged the keyboard from the desktop and he headed to his room where you can at times hear the sound of him typing, at like 200 wpm. When asked what he’s typing, he’ll reply: “Oh, nothing, just practicing.”
Joshua G.

My Dad types holding his glasses in one hand and uses just his pointer finger with the other.
Zack W from IU

My professor cannot seem to understand the concept of the “back” button. She’ll go to the website she wants, click whatever links to whatever pages on the website, and then, instead of pushing “back” to go back to the original website home screen, she closes out of the browser, opens a new one, types in the address and continues on from there, multiple times during each lecture.
Brittannie Ball from Appalachian State

When I send my dad a text, he sends me an empty one back to confirm that he’s received it. On a side note, instead of sending me a postcard or picture, he sends me the link ( and yes, only the link…) of the hotel they’re staying at on holidays….
Grietje Dw

My mom was taking her computer into Best Buy to get it serviced. One of the guys at the counter offered to help her pick it up and jokingly said “whew, your computer is really heavy!” My mother responded, “I know! I have a lot of pictures on it.”
Tristan Moore

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08.25
11

Parents Just Don’t Understand: #191

by admin ·

Do your parents not understand technology? Do they ask you stupid questions? Do they send you absurd text messages? If you’ve got an example of your Parents Just Dont Understanding, submit it here!
And thank God well never be as dumb as they are!

It’s about a week until I go back to university, and my mom said, “We should make sure Skype is still working.” When I asked her why, she responded, “Because I haven’t used it in a while!”
Scrub Tibbles

My mom, who runs a home business where she has to deal with Microsoft Word a lot, has yet to figure out many of the basic aspects of computers. Aside from the plethora of toolbars, the “if Internet Explorer weren’t the best web watcher [yes, ‘web watcher’] then it wouldn’t already be on here” comments, and the incessant use of ludicrous name confusions (“MyFace” “Google Online” etc), there’s also the thrice weekly phone calls for random help that mostly consists of queries on the level of “how come my tv works with the remote, but my computer doesn’t? It says universal” [yes, real quote]. My father, on the other hand, no longer has these issues because I bought him a Mac and showed him how the video walkthrough things work. Now, whether he’s actually making progress, or just thinks the videos are neat is another issue…
Rob D

No matter how many times I correct my dad, he still calls videos online “youtubes.”
Matt S

Every time my mom gets on a computer, she has to ask me whether or not she needs to click or double-click to make whatever the pointer clicked on opens….the invention of the “Quick Launch” icons on PC’s just made things worse.
Colin G

My best friend’s parents’ computer finally fried after so many viruses, so they took it to “Micro World” to have the data saved. This was a last resort after the flash drive they’d been using to “save 4 years of data” had turned out to be “messed up” and empty. Turns out, they thought that if you stuck a flash drive into the USB port, it would automatically save the computer’s backup info. They’d been doing this for years.
Cat K

My mom asked me, “If I want to watch a television show on hulu.com, will I get a virus?” I laughed. In a panic she closed her web browser and said, “I will?!”
Wheeler Reiss

A few years ago at Disney World, my mom told another woman that she “liked her earring”. The woman was talking on her Bluetooth.
Jessica H.

I was helping my uncle synch a Wii Remote to his new Wii system. I was telling him directions over the phone, to take the battery cover off the remote and press the read synch button. He then proceeded to take the batteries out of the remote, then try to synch it. He quickly got frustrated because the remote was “Dead in the water.”
Dillon Michael

Whenever I play wii tennis with my mom, she always thinks its her turn during the replay.
Robby K

Every time I used to mention Lost my Mom would make fun of it and go, “if they’re Lost then why are there cameras there?” About a week before the finale I finally figured out that when I said Lost she was thinking Survivor. I’m sure I mentioned time travel and nuclear bombs at least once in those six years.
Adrian K from UNH

Today, I told my mom that I reached 100 subscribers on Youtube, then she said “Oh that’s great! How much do you charge?”
addi smith

JAY-DEE. Thats how my mum pronounces Jedi.
Anonymously Anonymous

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