ISSUE 39•42 |
10.29.03 | News in Brief
Andrew Haxley from Oregon Portland on Sep.042011
This is great and amazing. For the price you cannot beat it.
This prop is great for haunted houses home haunts and Halloween parties. Ultimately the most creepyist mad scientist which will scare almost anybody.
Also he can be placed in a laborotry he will scare the adults as well as kids. With his movements and he can easily be placed anywhere including in a living room or anywhere else of your choice. He will also say phrases while his mouth moves to the words his eyes will glow and turn side to side and his head will turn side to side also. And his tube lights up green. While he scares kids and adults with his movement. This will creep them out if they are scared of him.
Also he comes with wires and a adapter used for plugging into the wall. But what he really comes with is a karaoke microphone used for talking into. So you can make him talk and make it sound like your voice. And he also sings a song while moving his mouth to the words.
He also collapses for easy storage. So you can put him away and save him for next time.
So if you are planning a party. I recommended you get him. For the price and deal you cannot miss this and cannot beat the price. This will entertain everybody and they can sing through him or talk like him with the microphone. And he will also scare and entertain. And also he will be the talk of the neighborhood.
Originally posted at Buzzillions.com (legalese)
Doctor Shivers
This mad scientist is pure genius. The good doctor stands 6 feet tall – dressed in his pristine white lab coat with buttons, he’ll scare your guests out of their minds! Motion activated prop has light up eyes that look side to side while his head turns. His oozing green beaker with eyeballs insi…
MikeBoston from Fort Lauderdale, FL on Sep.302011
I purchased 2 Ecobee thermostats for my home in FL. I travel a great deal and the home is often empty for weeks at a time.
I installed both units myself (two stage cooling, auxilliary electric heat, dehumidifier). The first took about an hour and a half, the second took 30 – 40 minutes. The toughest part was determining what type of heating/cooling equipment I had as it all came with a new home purchase.
Both units fired up immediately and had no trouble connecting to the Ecobee servers. The web interface is great for changing settings and montioring usage.
The best is the iPhone/iPad app. Now I can adjust the thermostat while I’m still on the plane flying into FLL. No more walking into a stuffy hot house.
It has been 4 months since installation and my utility bills have dropped about 6 – 7%.
Originally posted at Buzzillions.com (legalese)
Ecobee Internet Enabled Smart Thermostat – EB-STAT-02
CLICK HERE TO SEE PRODUCT DEMO Ecobee Internet Enabled Smart Thermostat – EB-STAT-02 Ecobee helps homeowners conserve energy, save money and reduce their environmental impact. Our green automation platform sits at the convergence of energy conservation, green technology, the networked home and …
Have a lousy job? Friends, family, and coworkers alike tired of listening to you complain? Well, send your stories here and lift some of the burden off of your already crushed soul. No drug test required.
My first job was at a pet store. A woman came in telling me that her dog was having stomach issues, and that her vet told her to feed it chicken and rice.
She then explained to me that she just couldn’t afford to buy him Chinese food every night. I laughed until I realized she was serious.
Crypt Rat
I work in a hole-in-the-wall bar. One day, a guy walks in and orders a beer. As I hand him the beer, he gets an indescribable look on his face, and walks to the back room to play pool. I didn’t think anything of it, really, but a few minutes later I began to notice a horrible smell in the bar. Evidently the guy had shit his pants when he’d walked up to the bar and, rather than clean himself up or leave immediately, he got the beer and played an entire game of pool, leaving streaks of shit in front of the bar and around the entire pool table.
Jess H
I had just begun college, and my first job out of High school. I swore I would never take a mac job, so I was working at a funeral home. I know most people think it’s gross, but it was pretty clean. The schedule was a plus with my full college load, working on call, mostly at 2 in the morning, along with 8 hours Friday, and Saturday. On one of these Saturdays, during the summertime, I was in my transport van with someone on the back stretcher, the A.C. was not working, and I was wearing a black suit, then I got caught in traffic. So I was sitting in traffic beginning to cook, and moving at a slow 20 mphs. Then when I was wiping the sweat from my brow, I looked in the review mirror, and I saw the body, begin to sit up strait, and begin to make a gurgling sound. With that I was insanely freaked out, pulling off to the side of the road, getting out, taking my suit jacket off quickly, then saying shit and fuck about as many times as I could. I went to the rear doors of the van, seeing one body sitting up at a 90 degree angle, at that point being very creepy, I asked a simple “Hello” just thinking there’s a chance it might still be alive. No answer, after calming down a bit, and realizing it was just the heat that can cause muscle contractions, I began to tighten the straps on the stretcher, it was like bending a led pipe, but after a few minutes of tightening the straps on the stretcher, I was finally able to make it secure again, and the traffic was lightening up again. I was able to quickly drive back to the funeral home, and from that everything was fine. But for a second it could have been the zombie Apocalypse.
Josh Hill
I work in management at a well-known retail store. I’m not going to lie, my new boss has got to be the dumbest person I’ve met in my life. Today she was making a poster for a coworker who won a contest, and wrote on it “Congradulations!” Afterward, she asked me to show her how to use a box cutter.
Kayti Flynn
I am a receptionist for a law firm. Because we aren’t the only office on this floor, I often have to deal with a lot of crazy people with strange questions law related and not. Once I noticed an older man, probably early 60’s, staring at another suite’s door for a long period of time. Finally, he came into our office and said, “That door over there doesn’t have handles. Is there another way to get in?” I thought he was messing with me and told him you just have to push. He responded with, “Oh ok. Thank you.” Straight face and all.
Brittney O
When I was 15 I worked at Old Navy as a summer job, and I was mostly found manning the dressing rooms in the back. One day I had a 20-something couple come in. The girl went to try on a huge array of clothes and the guy sat on a bench waiting for her to model. She looked normal enough but he looked like a hipster, emo, death metal tree hugger. I cannot describe him in any other way. He started asking me why I worked at a store that exploited children in 3rd world countries, was making our country broke, and was stealing money from teenagers, and then proceeded to was ask me how I could stand to live with myself. He also told me one day Karma would get me back and that I should reconsider my life. Yet, his Girlfriend was buying clothes from the store that did all these heinous things.
Kerstin Glaess
I got a new job in a Pizzeria in the city. All of the customers are generally nice but one day i get a complaint about the bathroom being held up for an hour. I knocked and called and finally figured that no one was in there so i used the employee keys to open the door. There was a knocked out 10 year old that slipped on his own pee and smashed his head against the toilet.
Mosiur Rahman
Submit yours here!
It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 6 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!
My roommates got mad at me for having a dog, so I scheduled to take her home to my parents on winter break which was about a week away. That wasn’t good enough for them. Even though the dog had been there for months, they wanted her out then and there, requiring me to drive nine hours home. The house we lived in was a filthy cigarette filled dump that you couldn’t walk around in without shoes. I couldn’t even stand to eat in the place, but my roommates could, and they always left dirty dishes around. Before I left for the long drive, my dog did a really nice job getting all of the dishes clean, and I neatly stacked them in the cabinet. Dogs mouths are supposed to be clean right?Last year, I was in a dorm with my 3 best bros, but back then, we were all new to each other. 3 of us got along really well, but the fourth guy, Bentz, was always working on school stuff and spazzing out. So anyway, one day, Bentz was at his English Lit class, and me and the other dudes were just kinda hanging around. Now, Bentz was a band geek back then, so he’d always take up a bunch of space in our common room with his trombone on this fancy stand so it “wouldn’t warp from the case,” and so my buddy Matt comes up, grabs the trombone, and walks out. He’s a shop boy, so he always has tools lying around, and so he comes back 15 minutes later, wearing the sawed off end of the trombone like a hat, and he’s just like “hey guys, look, I’m Bentz.” So we’re rolling on the floor laughing our asses off for 15 minutes, and then finally Bentz shows up, sees Matt with the funnel thing on his head, and just drops his textbook. We all think he’s gonna throw a kanipshin, but he starts laughing. Turns out he hated band, and now he had a reason to drop it. It was kinda a let down cause we thought he’d blow a fuse, but his parents came to visit that week and got to have a little talk with the guy who hack-sawed their son’s trombone. Good times.
Joel W.
I live in a cabin with 5 other guys and two showers that are right next to one another. Two roomates decide to dump ice cold river water from a huge bucket onto two guys taking showers. Payback was putting beef paste in the shower head so the one guy who showers about half and hour before anyone else got a beef soup shower. Never have I woke up to a more irate person, and despite finding the wrench in our room right away he still has no idea who beefed him.
Mike S.
My roommate was trying to rush a Fraternity. I knew a lot about the guys that lived there, so of course i decided to fuck with him when they invited him to dinner at the house. The house he was going to is a complete dump, he had no idea what he was stepping into. So he asked me what he should wear, so of course I told him “shirt tie, time to impress.” After he was dressed I drove him over to the house. The moment was priceless, as everyone was walking in with basketball shorts and lax pennys, I was able to watch my horrified roommate shyly walk into the house looking like a complete tool. He preceded not to talk to me for 3 days, so far my best 3 days here yet.
Andrew S. from Indiana University
My roommate freshman year was weird to say the least. She would take a bite of food and put it back on the serving tray, watch necrophiliac movies, and blow dry her hair at 2am in our room when I had 8am classes the next day. She also informed my friends that the way they ate was gross, that they would never be accepted to med school, and that they were gaining weight even though they weren’t. Needless to say, we were all getting pretty sick of her shit. So then she tells me that she ordered something online under my name, and that if I receive the package I should give it to her. Pissed off that she used my name to order who knows what, I decided I wasn’t giving it to her. A few days later I received the package while she was in class and opened it to find a new pair of jeans. I tried them on and they fit perfectly. I hid them in my dresser and threw away the box they came in, telling her that I didn’t get it whenever she asked. I still have her jeans to this day.
Jenn A
A guy in my hall smuggled a microwave into his room, (Microwaves aren’t allowed in our dorm) and everybody knows about it but he won’t let anybody use it. So one day me and my buddy filled a bag with dog shit from outside and snuck in while he was showering and put it in the microwave for about five minutes. This was almost three weeks ago and his whole room still smells like shit. Take that asshole.
Eric S.
Submit yours here!
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Do your parents not understand technology? Do they ask you stupid questions? Do they send you absurd text messages? If you’ve got an example of your Parents Just Dont Understanding, submit it here!
And thank God well never be as dumb as they are!
I work at a Starbucks and we constantly get older people that want to use the internet. For some reason we always get bugged with the same problem that they can’t connect. These are the 3 main reasons why:
1. They never turned their wifi on.
2. They never connected to the network.
3. They say, “I need google to log on, but the internet isn’t showing google.”
Oddly enough, these same people always come back and always have the same problems.
Mark Diaz from UNE
I just finished a year long project transferring all my parents’ home movies of my childhood from Hi8 and VHS to digital format. The most tedious part? Removing the first ten to twenty seconds of EVERY scene: Lens cap coming off, camera shakily pointing at floor or ceiling, and my parents having a discussion about whether or not it was recording already. Literally 6 to 7 times an hour, over 70 hours of home movies, spanning 20+ years.
Chris R
I work in a restaurant and during lunch last week there was a patron with a Kindle. As we know, the screensaver on a Kindle is usually a famous author. My techno-phobe boss goes up to his table and asks, “Oh, is that a picture of your mom?” No sir, it’s Charlotte Bronte.
Charlotte Hyland from UMass Lowell
My mom has trouble with all the options on Word. When I help her create a graphic or an organization chart, she thinks I’m a pro because the lines are “all straight, organized and pretty.”
Elodie T
When my mom’s driving, she doesn’t trust the gps on my droid because “it’s unreliable.” Instead she has to go on Google Maps on the laptop beforehand and hand write on a piece of paper all the directions to where she wants to go. No matter how much I have tried to convince her that the directions on my phone are just as good she says “the computer is smarter.” My phone uses Google Maps.
Aren B
You’d think that my dad would have filled out some memos and requisition forms and such in his career as an engineer, but every email he sends has the subject of “Dad.” Just “Dad”.
Dave S. from Whatsamata U.
I just found my mom checking for highway closure from storm damage with google street view.
anon ymous
My mum spends hours talking to her work friends on facebook, the other day whilst typing away she paused and exclaimed ‘I DON’T BELIEVE IT’, and so I enquired what, and for a while she just acted angry and slightly crazed. Finally she told me why she was so annoyed, it turned out in her message inbox there wasn’t an option to delete anything and that someone had obviously been on ‘her page’ and changed the settings so that she couldn’t delete anything on facebook anymore. She continued to talk in this paranoid way and also decided that this was due to her being hacked by my brothers friends ‘because they are always on their computers while they are here’.
Needless to say it took a lot of convincing to make her believe that facebook didn’t have a magic setting that she couldn’t find, ‘where she could tick that she didn’t want to be able to delete messages’. It was just a minor error on facebook that lasted less than 10 minutes, I don’t think that she ever really believed me, though.
D B from York
My mom has the iPhone 4, while I just have the 3g (#firstworldproblems) anyway, The other day my mom asked me to send her a picture of myself, because she misses me. I told her I would but it’s annoying to have to turn the phone around and take a picture when I can’t see what I’m taking a picture of. She then told me that there was this great, “vanity mirror app” and I should just get that, and take a picture that way, because that is how she did it. I tried explaining to her that my phone doesn’t have a front facing camera, but she insisted that it wasnt a camera, but a mirror. Yes, she thought the app actually turned the phone into a legit mirror.
Brian Kluger from Ithaca College
Without fail, every time my grandma uses her cell phone she opens it up and checks for a dial tone.
J T
Submit yours here!
It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!
Two weeks ago, my friend Bucky moved all the way across the country in pursuit of only God knows what, his last words before leaving being “And onwards to the core of nowhere!” While stomping the gas pedal to get on the road. While he was packing stuff into his car, however, I got the brilliant idea to place something in there that I knew he’d hate. I had several of his little Annoy-a-trons that he’d deployed all over my house, and most were still pretty well charged. There are currently 31 of those little beeping bastards going off in the stuff he packed up, of which are placed at random within his boxes and the remainder of them placed all around the car itself. To make things worse, some beep and some do this buzzing that will piss you off by the second time it goes off. I’m pretty sure he’s about ready to come home and kick my ass for the interesting trip he had.My roommate is funny, smart, sweet, and drop-dead gorgeous, but she has the most incredible sex drive ever. That wouldn’t be so bad if she didn’t bring home a new guy every other night (on the off-nights she shows off a fantastic array of sex toys) while she thinks I’m asleep. After two months of this, I got sick of it and set up a webcam, linked to a popular porn site. It’s been two years, and so far I’ve made enough to completely pay off my college loans. Thanks, Chelsea.
Anne O’Nymous
I had a roommate who was pretty chill, except he didn’t share my love for Keri Hilson. Usually I wouldn’t mind, but he resorted to calling Ms. Hilson some rather nasty words when I would blast her music. So one day while he was out all day, I went onto his iTunes library, saved it (because I’m not that big a jackass), and replaced all of the song files with Keri Hilson songs. Except, I kept all of the song information, so his Kanye West album would turn out to all be “Pretty Girl Rock”. He wasn’t quite bright enough locate his old libraries, so I made him listen to Keri for days before I would fix his iTunes.
Patrick C.
My roommate has this boyfriend who has a really cheesy mustache. What’s worse is that she loves it and talks about it all the time. She says it makes him look sexy, even though it really makes him look like a seventies porn star. One day they were both asleep on the couch and I was sick to death about hearing them talk about his mustache, so I shaved half of it off. For good measure I colored it back on with a magic marker. He had to shave it and it took them two weeks to get used to it.
Daly O from SMC
My roommate in the dorms freshman year was a real pain in the ass. She always had something or someone to complain about. And I was her favorite target. I constantly heard ridiculous things that she would say about me to other people that lived in my dorm; or was being scolded by her for unnecessary things. So of course, my new favorite activity became getting drunk and finding new ways to piss her off. Why not give her something legit to complain about? But this got old fast. Since she was always bitching anyways, her reactions to my drunken rampages just weren’t satisfying anymore. She went to visit her boyfriend one weekend. When I came back to my room that Friday night I noticed that she left her retainer there. I picked it up and proceeded to spit in it. My friends thought it was hilarious. We ended up passing it around the room and everyone took their turn spewing into her precious retainer. Watching her put the retainer, covered in other peoples saliva, in her mouth was much more rewarding than provoking yet another tantrum.
Allie L. from Winona State University
Submit yours here!
Percy from Paterson, NJ on Aug.302011
I live on the 1st floor of a 3 family home that is attached to another house of identical build by one wall. For 5 years our home was pest free. Then the house next door started remodeling and we started getting all sorts of insects and rodents.
Our cat took care of the rodents, but even with an exterminator we could not get rid of the roaches. Every time he came out and we saw a difference, the house next door would start remodeling another floor.
Finally I went to Lowe’s to get the standard roach bait traps (that never work), and I saw these Hot Shot liquid roach baits. I figured let me give them a try.
Let me preface this by saying that we had an extremely severe roach problem. They were everywhere (one even crawled in my husband’s ear while he slept!) When you came home and turned on the lights they were everywhere. It had gotten to the point where they no longer even bothered to hide.
After putting down all of the traps in every room of the house and then leaving for work, we returned home to find a very different house. Within a few days we no longer saw any roaches.
Now we occasionally will see a roach when someone moves into or out of the house next door. We just put down a bait in the area we see it and there is no problem.
I would highly recommend these roach baits!
Originally posted at Buzzillions.com (legalese)
Hot Shot Liquid Roach Bait HG-95613
Roach bait ultra liquid “hot shot” pack of 6 bait stations
I researched the purchase of a Kindle for a long time. I couldn’t decide whether or not it was worth buying a dedicated e-reader. Boy am I glad I made this purchase. The downside to Amazon’s online selling of Kindle 3 is that the customers don’t get to see it in person. It is much better in person. This may sound stupid, but when I got my new Kindle, I thought there was a stuck-on overlay on the screen containing a diagram of the unit’s buttons, etc. I actually tried to peel it off. Doh! The e-ink on this unit is THAT good. I didn’t realize that I was staring at the actual display. I also didn’t realize that no power is required until the display changes. (thus the great battery life) I do a lot of reading, but was facing the prospect of reading less or buying large type books because of my variable and deteriorating eyesight. The new Kindle has been a godsend. Now, I can decide the size of type I need depending on my level of fatigue among other things. The weight and ergonomics are very good. For someone, like me, with neuropathy in his hands, it is extremely easy to manage and enjoyable to own. To me, it is easier to read than print books. The ease of navigation is great as is the speed. The battery life, so far, has been extraordinary. It easily connected to our home Wi-Fi, which by design does not broadcast an SSID. It downloads books so fast that I almost thought they were not completely received. I did not buy the 3G version because of the price difference and the fact that there is no coverage where I live. If you are not constantly traveling, I don’t see the need to spend the extra bucks, but that is a matter of personal choice. For those who have no Wi-Fi at home, remember that you can always download the material to your computer and transfer it via USB. Just today I was watching an interview with Tony Blair on TV. He was talking about his new book, which sounded interesting. I picked up the Kindle and downloaded a free sample before the interview was over. I have only read the preface so far, but will probably buy the book. Now THAT is a great way to buy a book! I haven’t used online browsing extensively yet, but find it reasonable for what the device is. This is primarily a book reader, not a laptop or notebook. They are great for what they do, but can’t match the e-ink display, or the light weight. For those of you worrying about the wait for the new Kindle, let me end with, “It is worth the wait” This new Kindle is all about the quality of experience. There are many format choices for electronic reading. If you want the best experience, go with the Kindle.
Kindle is our #1 bestselling item for two years running. It’s also the most-wished-for, most-gifted, and has the most 5-star reviews of any product on Amazon. Now it’s even better.
All-New, High-Contrast E Ink Screen – 50% better contrast with latest E Ink Pearl technology
Read in Bright Sunlight – No glare
New and Improved Fonts – New crisper, darker fonts
New Sleek Design – 21% smaller body while keeping the same 6″ size reading area
17% Lighter – Only 8.7 ounces, weighs less than a paperback
Battery Life of Up to Two Months – A single charge lasts up to two months with wireless off
Double the Storage – Up to 3,500 books
Books in 60 Seconds – Download books anytime, anywhere
Free 3G Wireless – No monthly payments, no annual contracts
Built-In Wi-Fi – In addition to the 3G wireless, you can connect to Wi-Fi hotspots
20% Faster Page Turns – Seamless reading
Enhanced PDF Reader – With dictionary lookup, notes, and highlights
New WebKit-Based Browser – Browse the web over Wi-Fi (experimental)
Special Offers – Special offers and sponsored screensavers display on the Kindle screensaver and on the bottom of the home screen—they don’t interrupt reading
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