NiniaPimp Magazine

Do your parents not understand technology? Do they ask you stupid questions? Do they send you absurd text messages? If you’ve got an example of your Parents Just Dont Understanding, submit it here!
And thank God well never be as dumb as they are!

It’s about a week until I go back to university, and my mom said, “We should make sure Skype is still working.” When I asked her why, she responded, “Because I haven’t used it in a while!”
Scrub Tibbles

My mom, who runs a home business where she has to deal with Microsoft Word a lot, has yet to figure out many of the basic aspects of computers. Aside from the plethora of toolbars, the “if Internet Explorer weren’t the best web watcher [yes, ‘web watcher’] then it wouldn’t already be on here” comments, and the incessant use of ludicrous name confusions (“MyFace” “Google Online” etc), there’s also the thrice weekly phone calls for random help that mostly consists of queries on the level of “how come my tv works with the remote, but my computer doesn’t? It says universal” [yes, real quote]. My father, on the other hand, no longer has these issues because I bought him a Mac and showed him how the video walkthrough things work. Now, whether he’s actually making progress, or just thinks the videos are neat is another issue…
Rob D

No matter how many times I correct my dad, he still calls videos online “youtubes.”
Matt S

Every time my mom gets on a computer, she has to ask me whether or not she needs to click or double-click to make whatever the pointer clicked on opens….the invention of the “Quick Launch” icons on PC’s just made things worse.
Colin G

My best friend’s parents’ computer finally fried after so many viruses, so they took it to “Micro World” to have the data saved. This was a last resort after the flash drive they’d been using to “save 4 years of data” had turned out to be “messed up” and empty. Turns out, they thought that if you stuck a flash drive into the USB port, it would automatically save the computer’s backup info. They’d been doing this for years.
Cat K

My mom asked me, “If I want to watch a television show on hulu.com, will I get a virus?” I laughed. In a panic she closed her web browser and said, “I will?!”
Wheeler Reiss

A few years ago at Disney World, my mom told another woman that she “liked her earring”. The woman was talking on her Bluetooth.
Jessica H.

I was helping my uncle synch a Wii Remote to his new Wii system. I was telling him directions over the phone, to take the battery cover off the remote and press the read synch button. He then proceeded to take the batteries out of the remote, then try to synch it. He quickly got frustrated because the remote was “Dead in the water.”
Dillon Michael

Whenever I play wii tennis with my mom, she always thinks its her turn during the replay.
Robby K

Every time I used to mention Lost my Mom would make fun of it and go, “if they’re Lost then why are there cameras there?” About a week before the finale I finally figured out that when I said Lost she was thinking Survivor. I’m sure I mentioned time travel and nuclear bombs at least once in those six years.
Adrian K from UNH

Today, I told my mom that I reached 100 subscribers on Youtube, then she said “Oh that’s great! How much do you charge?”
addi smith

JAY-DEE. Thats how my mum pronounces Jedi.
Anonymously Anonymous

Submit yours here!

IOWA CITY, IA—After keeping the tab open for almost three hours, local man Nathan Marsten decided this afternoon he could probably shut down the MC Lyte Wikipedia page on his web browser. “I looked her up earlier because I got that ‘Cha Cha Cha’ song stuck in my head, but I feel like there’s really no need to keep it open at this point,” said Marsten, who learned from his scanning of the page that Lyte’s two older brothers are also hip-hop artists, and that they collaborated on some of her records. “If worse comes to worst, it’ll still be in my browser history. Or I could just Google her name again. It’ll literally take three seconds.” At press time, it remains unclear as to why Marsten has opted to keep the Wikipedia page on Tripoli open.

Afro-Squad has been online for well over a decade, and we’ve made tons of other websites over the years. Our websites get thousands of visitors, and we’ve tried a lot of advertising methods.

Google has been by far the most successful advertisor for us. We get hig quality ads, and we make decent money from them. However, we are testing Adbrite on this site to see if they compare to Google.

In the first 10 days of August, we got 24,000 impressions with our Google ads on pro wrestling sites. From those 24K impressions, people clicked our ads 92 times. Google will pay us $28 for those 92 clicks. That equals 30 cents a click.

During our test on Afro-Squad.com, Adbrite got us 13,410 impressions. That means 13K people saw Adbrite advertisements. From those 13K impressions, people clicked the ads 17 times. The fewer clicks per impression than Google may be because of my ad placement. So I can’t necessarily blame Adbrite. However, it is likely that Adbrite just has less interesting ads. It seems that Adbrite ads have nothing to do with my content, probably because they have fewer advertisors. In total, Adbrite will pay me 84 cents for those 17 clicks. That’s about 5 cents a click.

When you compare, Google is paying me six times what Adbrite is paying me. Of course, this often has to do with the type of content. You make more money off of better quality content. For example, you could make $2 a click with a web site about legal advice and less from a site about bikini models. That’s just how the advertising world works.

I have tested Google and Adsense for years, and in every comparision, Google has won out. Google Adsense pays more per click than any advertisor I have ever found online.

Photo gallery:
Archos 101

The Archos 101 is the 10-inch tablet Android needed in 2010. Thin, light, and affordably priced at $299 (8GB) and $399 (16GB), the Archos 101 is the first decent presentation of Android 2.2 we’ve seen on an iPad-size screen.

Unfortunately, Archos’ timing is terrible. The 10-inch tablets making headlines these days are all running Android 3.0 (Honeycomb), and the Archos 101 is making no promises to support Google’s latest, greatest OS. Still, if you’re looking for a 10-inch tablet–you need it now, and you need it cheap–the Archos 101 isn’t a bad way to go.

Design
Unlike most of the Android tablets we’ve seen in the wake of the iPad, the Archos 101 actually looks good next to Apple’s tablet. Comparably sized at about 10.5 inches wide, 6 inches high, and 0.33 inch thick, the Archos 101 feels like a real tablet–not an oversize smartphone.

The first thing we noticed about the Archos 101 is how light it is. At around 16 ounces, it weighs about as much as a pint of beer and is noticeably lighter than the iPad. How Archos was able to achieve this light weight is no mystery, though. Instead of the aluminum-and-glass construction used on the iPad, the Archos design is mostly plastic and its construction easily bends under pressure. Granted, tablets are fairly fragile devices inherently, but the 101 wins no points for ruggedness.

Another design detail that experienced Android users will notice is the Archos 101′s lack of tactile navigation buttons. Perhaps a prediction of Google’s moving all navigation controls to the touch screen in Android 3.0, Archos has customized Android 2.2 with onscreen controls for home, back, and menu, running down the right edge of the screen. The end result is actually ideal for tablets, since it allows the navigation controls to reorient regardless of how the device is held.

Archos also goes a little off the Android script when it comes to connectivity. For better or worse, all of the 101′s ports are crowded onto the left edge of the device–and, boy, there are a ton of ports. You get standard sockets for headphones, a power adapter, and a Micro-USB port for syncing to a computer. Archos also throws in a Mini-HDMI port for output to a TV, and a standard USB host port for connecting an external keyboard or thumbdrive.

Also included on the Archos 101 is a front-facing camera that can shoot both video and stills at a VGA resolution (640×480 pixels). A Fring video chat application comes preinstalled that will work with the camera, along with the pinhole mic found on the same side.

A kickstand is also included, located on the back. The stand folds out from the middle and folds out far enough to prop up the tablet at a slight (30-degree) angle, which helps with touch-screen typing, but can also be used to keep the tablet upright for videos or a photo slideshow.

Features
As far as software goes, you’re looking at an Android 2.2 device, minus the conveniences of Google’s proprietary apps, including Android Marketplace, Gmail, and Maps. You get the stock Android 2.2 e-mail app and Web browser, along with Archos’ remixed versions of the Android music player, photo viewer, and video player.

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Photo gallery:
Archos 101

The Archos 101 is the 10-inch tablet Android needed in 2010. Thin, light, and affordably priced at $299 (8GB) and $399 (16GB), the Archos 101 is the first decent presentation of Android 2.2 we’ve seen on an iPad-size screen.

Unfortunately, Archos’ timing is terrible. The 10-inch tablets making headlines these days are all running Android 3.0 (Honeycomb), and the Archos 101 is making no promises to support Google’s latest, greatest OS. Still, if you’re looking for a 10-inch tablet–you need it now, and you need it cheap–the Archos 101 isn’t a bad way to go.

Design
Unlike most of the Android tablets we’ve seen in the wake of the iPad, the Archos 101 actually looks good next to Apple’s tablet. Comparably sized at about 10.5 inches wide, 6 inches high, and 0.33 inch thick, the Archos 101 feels like a real tablet–not an oversize smartphone.

The first thing we noticed about the Archos 101 is how light it is. At around 16 ounces, it weighs about as much as a pint of beer and is noticeably lighter than the iPad. How Archos was able to achieve this light weight is no mystery, though. Instead of the aluminum-and-glass construction used on the iPad, the Archos design is mostly plastic and its construction easily bends under pressure. Granted, tablets are fairly fragile devices inherently, but the 101 wins no points for ruggedness.

Another design detail that experienced Android users will notice is the Archos 101′s lack of tactile navigation buttons. Perhaps a prediction of Google’s moving all navigation controls to the touch screen in Android 3.0, Archos has customized Android 2.2 with onscreen controls for home, back, and menu, running down the right edge of the screen. The end result is actually ideal for tablets, since it allows the navigation controls to reorient regardless of how the device is held.

Archos also goes a little off the Android script when it comes to connectivity. For better or worse, all of the 101′s ports are crowded onto the left edge of the device–and, boy, there are a ton of ports. You get standard sockets for headphones, a power adapter, and a Micro-USB port for syncing to a computer. Archos also throws in a Mini-HDMI port for output to a TV, and a standard USB host port for connecting an external keyboard or thumbdrive.

Also included on the Archos 101 is a front-facing camera that can shoot both video and stills at a VGA resolution (640×480 pixels). A Fring video chat application comes preinstalled that will work with the camera, along with the pinhole mic found on the same side.

A kickstand is also included, located on the back. The stand folds out from the middle and folds out far enough to prop up the tablet at a slight (30-degree) angle, which helps with touch-screen typing, but can also be used to keep the tablet upright for videos or a photo slideshow.

Features
As far as software goes, you’re looking at an Android 2.2 device, minus the conveniences of Google’s proprietary apps, including Android Marketplace, Gmail, and Maps. You get the stock Android 2.2 e-mail app and Web browser, along with Archos’ remixed versions of the Android music player, photo viewer, and video player.

Next page