by admin ·
It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 6 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!
My roommates got mad at me for having a dog, so I scheduled to take her home to my parents on winter break which was about a week away. That wasn’t good enough for them. Even though the dog had been there for months, they wanted her out then and there, requiring me to drive nine hours home. The house we lived in was a filthy cigarette filled dump that you couldn’t walk around in without shoes. I couldn’t even stand to eat in the place, but my roommates could, and they always left dirty dishes around. Before I left for the long drive, my dog did a really nice job getting all of the dishes clean, and I neatly stacked them in the cabinet. Dogs mouths are supposed to be clean right?
Last year, I was in a dorm with my 3 best bros, but back then, we were all new to each other. 3 of us got along really well, but the fourth guy, Bentz, was always working on school stuff and spazzing out. So anyway, one day, Bentz was at his English Lit class, and me and the other dudes were just kinda hanging around. Now, Bentz was a band geek back then, so he’d always take up a bunch of space in our common room with his trombone on this fancy stand so it “wouldn’t warp from the case,” and so my buddy Matt comes up, grabs the trombone, and walks out. He’s a shop boy, so he always has tools lying around, and so he comes back 15 minutes later, wearing the sawed off end of the trombone like a hat, and he’s just like “hey guys, look, I’m Bentz.” So we’re rolling on the floor laughing our asses off for 15 minutes, and then finally Bentz shows up, sees Matt with the funnel thing on his head, and just drops his textbook. We all think he’s gonna throw a kanipshin, but he starts laughing. Turns out he hated band, and now he had a reason to drop it. It was kinda a let down cause we thought he’d blow a fuse, but his parents came to visit that week and got to have a little talk with the guy who hack-sawed their son’s trombone. Good times.
I live in a cabin with 5 other guys and two showers that are right next to one another. Two roomates decide to dump ice cold river water from a huge bucket onto two guys taking showers. Payback was putting beef paste in the shower head so the one guy who showers about half and hour before anyone else got a beef soup shower. Never have I woke up to a more irate person, and despite finding the wrench in our room right away he still has no idea who beefed him.
My roommate was trying to rush a Fraternity. I knew a lot about the guys that lived there, so of course i decided to fuck with him when they invited him to dinner at the house. The house he was going to is a complete dump, he had no idea what he was stepping into. So he asked me what he should wear, so of course I told him “shirt tie, time to impress.” After he was dressed I drove him over to the house. The moment was priceless, as everyone was walking in with basketball shorts and lax pennys, I was able to watch my horrified roommate shyly walk into the house looking like a complete tool. He preceded not to talk to me for 3 days, so far my best 3 days here yet.
Andrew S. from Indiana University
My roommate freshman year was weird to say the least. She would take a bite of food and put it back on the serving tray, watch necrophiliac movies, and blow dry her hair at 2am in our room when I had 8am classes the next day. She also informed my friends that the way they ate was gross, that they would never be accepted to med school, and that they were gaining weight even though they weren’t. Needless to say, we were all getting pretty sick of her shit. So then she tells me that she ordered something online under my name, and that if I receive the package I should give it to her. Pissed off that she used my name to order who knows what, I decided I wasn’t giving it to her. A few days later I received the package while she was in class and opened it to find a new pair of jeans. I tried them on and they fit perfectly. I hid them in my dresser and threw away the box they came in, telling her that I didn’t get it whenever she asked. I still have her jeans to this day.
A guy in my hall smuggled a microwave into his room, (Microwaves aren’t allowed in our dorm) and everybody knows about it but he won’t let anybody use it. So one day me and my buddy filled a bag with dog shit from outside and snuck in while he was showering and put it in the microwave for about five minutes. This was almost three weeks ago and his whole room still smells like shit. Take that asshole.
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