NiniaPimp Magazine

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 6 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

My roommate is the most annoying person anyone can live with. But what get’s me the most is how unbelievably stupid he is. The other day we were eating take-out Chinese and I see him pop a fortune cookie in his mouth and swallow the whole damn thing, fortune paper and all. Then he says “OMG, do all fortune cookies have fortunes in them? ‘Cause I think I just ate paper.” The amazing thing is that wasn’t his first fortune cookie. He eats them all the time. What’s more amazing is that that was the THIRD time he’s forgotten to take out the fortune before eating. And all 3 times, he’s asked the same question.
Anonymous

While I was living in Korea I had a ‘building mate’ in a 14-story building. She was going out of town and asked if I could watch her diabetic cat for two weeks while she went on an exotic vacation with her boyfriend. I agreed; Little did I know what a decrepit hellion her sick cat was. Watching her cat was one of the worst experiences of my life. It vomited everywhere, it angrily shat all over her bed, and at all times possible spread kitty litter and poop all over the house. When I e-mailed her about this, she was very concerned about her cat and not at all concerned about the situation the cat put me in. Let me tell you giving the cat shots twice a day and being hissed at is NOT my idea of a fun time. When she returned and I asked how she intended to repay me for the terrible time I had, she threw a tantrum about how much of an ungrateful, good-for-nothing friend I was. Well, ‘friend’, I switched your bills with your Korean neighbor. Good luck dealing with the fees and trying to get things figured out with your non-English speaking landlord. Payback’s a bitch.
Dani W.

I get stoned and eat all the marshmallows out of your Lucky Charms.
Colt M.

I have an apartment of five girls, normally you’re supposed to have six but one of my roommates is an RA of the building, so she gets a room to herself. She has a strict rule that she has to be in bed between 9 and 9:30, and freaks out if anyone else is awake or loud enough to wake her. The building doesn’t have a strict curfew so we tend to ignore it. At the beginning of the year, after I found out how strict and evil she was, I decided to jump around violently on my bed and hit the walls around me until I heard her get up out of bed, and stomped her way down to hall to me and my friend’s room. Before, she bursts open the door, I jumped in bed and acted to be asleep. She stomps back to bed, and I jump around again, and act asleep. This goes on for a good 30 minutes until she asks my other roommates what the heck is going on. My roommate says “Oh, she has a sleeping disorder that causes her to do that. It’s pretty serious.” So now, halfway through the school year, whenever I have friends over and we’re too loud, my RA can’t do a damn thing about it because it’s probably just my sleeping disorder acting up.
Mckenzie Y. from UVU

For the past three years of college I’ve lived with two of my best friends from high school. We all get along really well, but we have one roommate who we just like to fuck with. One day while exploring our new apartment myself and my other roommate discovered the circuit breaker to our apartment was behind my bedroom door, after playing around with the switches we found out which ones control which lights and switches, most importantly we didn’t tell our prankable roommate. A couple weeks later while my one roommate was in the shower, myself and my third roommate decided to turn off the power to the bathroom that did not have any windows making it pitch black. He started screaming and shouting and we’re pretty sure we heard him slip and fall. While he was in there we started playing along making it sound like the whole apartment was without power, we even unplugged all the clocks so it looked legit. A few weeks later we did it again when he was in shower and laughed our asses off while hearing him shout “REALLY!? NOT AGAIN!” After that he went around to all of our friends in the complex asking if their power had gone out as well, but since we had asked them all to play along, he was convinced that it was just a freak accident that it kept happening while he was in the shower, he even went so far as calling the power company and our leasing agent. Eventually after about 4 dark as all hell showers he knew it was us. Too bad he has no ideas on how to prank us back.
J.V. from Michigan State

Hey there roomie, you know how you always battled me silently about the thermostat? How you always changed it to 60 degrees when I was out of the room or about to go to bed when it’s 30 degrees outside? I wonder if you ever figured out why you suddenly started changing that habit in the last term. You probably found yourself staying cold no matter what you did, even under a huge bundle of blankets on your bed, leaving you no choice but to turn the heat up. You even filled out about a dozen work orders to see if the thermostat reader was broken, but nope. It was working perfectly fine. The never-ending cold you were suffering might have been all of the freezer packs I stuck under your mattress pad when you left the room for dinner at night. Luckily I had a later class than you in the mornings, so I could grab the now-melted packs and re-freeze them for the next day. The best part was when you never realized this and thought I was using the twenty-plus packs taking up the entire freezer just for my in-class sandwiches.
Erynn B.

Submit yours here!

A 500-ton crane set up to repair earthquake damage at the National Cathedral in Washington collapsed Wednesday, damaging several cars and a nearby building, but sparing the church itself. What do you think?

• 

  Once again God expresses His disapproval of the sinful creations of Hollywood. Because, you know, they use cranes for shooting movies.

  Beth Popple
  Systems Analyst

• 

  I sense the intervention of a merciful God in this. Well, after He fucked up and let the earthquake damage the cathedral in the first place.

  Chris Evans
  Unemployed

• 

  That other building wasn’t Dr. Philips’ Dental Clinic, was it? Because I have an appointment tomorrow morning.

  Tommy Innes
  Amalgamator

L’Unione Italiana (Italian Club) (1731E. 7th Aye.)
Ybor City’s Italians formed L’Unione Italiana in 1894. The club erected the present 3-1/2-story Neoclassical building, which it still occupies, on the southwest corner of 7th Avenue and 18th Street, in 1918.

The exterior walls are constructed of red brick and rest on a rusticated stone foundation over a partially raised full basement. Along its front (north) facade the edifice features four huge Roman Doric columns which mark the main entrance and culminate in a full entablature and cornice capped by a triangular pediment. On the east side the building has six similar columns which provide a sense of underpinning. Multipaned mullion windows are generally used throughout and are set in rectangular surrounds except on the third story where arched ones are utilized. The building is crowned with a half-story flat-roofed penthouse featuring eyebrow windows with decorative metal grills. The canteen, recreation room, theater, and ballroom are notable rooms. L’Unione Italiana’s overall condition is good, and it is undergoing restoration.

Juan Boamonde’s Furniture (1718-1720 E. 7th Avenue)
Built about 1910, this 3-story building is impressive because of its relative height and because it is one of the few buildings in the area to retain its original cast iron storefront elements, including posts. Tile also appears on the first floor. The upper stories are relatively unaltered.

Decorative brickwork adorns the facade and a stepped brick parapet appears at the roofline.

Cohen Building (1712-1714 E. 7th Avenue)

A 1-story concrete block building, faced with stucco and inset decorative tile, erected about 1920, the Cohen Building retains most original elements. A stepped pointed parapet with tile appears at the roofline. The structure has had a variety of tenants. It was occupied by Arnold’s Art Center.

Currently:  http://bluedeviltattoo.com/
May have been the previous home of Arnold Martinez art studio, who now has moved:  http://visitsouth.com/articles/article/arnold-martinez-art-gallery-tampa-fl/

Building Description:
Attractive, spacious, well designed single story building with two adjoining apartments; kitchen, bath, closet and sleeping loft. Includes workshop and fenced outdoor courtyard presently used for parking. Opportunity to develop additional floors. In 1990, the interior of building was extensively renovated with all new electrical, mechanical, plumbing, insulation and drywall throughout. In 2004, the façade was renovated with new clerestory windows and store front doors. Brochure with complete info available.

Newark Shoe Store Building (1708-1710 E. 7th Avenue)

This building was constructed soon after the disastrous fire of 1908. A 2-story brick structure, it retains most original features on the upper level, including decorative brickwork, corbelling, and a stepped parapet; the first-floor storefronts were altered in the Art Deco style during the 1930s.

Old Ybor City Bank rLatin-American Bank of Ybor City) (1702-1706 E. 7th)
A 2-story brick building erected in 1910 to house the Ybor City Bank, this structure served as a bank until 1955. It is relatively unaltered. The firstfloor storefront is covered with concrete in a usticated pattern. A wide awning features egg-and-dart molding and bracketing. The two east storefronts feature brick pilasters.

Broadway National Bank 1953

Wolfson Building (1621-1625 E. 7th)

The Wolfson family built this 1-story brick structure in 1922. It retains its metal awning rings and a water table. Its decorative brickwork bears the family name.

Note: The Wolfson family owned:

• Abe Wolfson Mens Wear
• Wolfson’s Trimming Store (Adam Wolfson & Son, William)

S.H. Kress and Co. (1620-1626 E. 7th)

Built in 1913, as a Kress Co. store, this 3-story blond brick building reflects the popular commercial style of its period of construction. Brick pilasters and string courses decorate the
facade. Egg-and-dart molding appears at the cornice. A stepped parapet bear the “Kress” name.  The Kress Co. store expanded into the first floor of an adjacent structure built sometime between 1903 and 1915.

Other Contributers: Burgert Brothers -- Photographer

S. H. Kress & Co. was the trading name of a chain of “five and dime” retail department stores in the United States, which operated from 1896 to 1981.

Samuel H. Kress opened his first “stationery and notions” store in Nanticoke, Pennsylvania in 1887. The chain of S. H. Kress & Co. 5-10-25 Cent Stores was established in 1896.^[1] Throughout the first half of the twentieth century Kress stores were a familiar sight on “Main Street” in hundreds of cities and towns.

In 1964 Genesco, Inc. acquired ownership of Kress. The company abandoned its center-city stores and moved to the shopping malls. Genesco began liquidating Kress and closing down the Kress stores in 1980.

Tiendas Kress, the subsidiary chain in Puerto Rico, survived the parent company and is still in business there. The Kress Foundation, a philanthropic organization promoting art, was es

The company’s exclusion of African Americans from its lunch counters made Kress a target for civil rights protests during the 1960 lunch counter sit-ins, along with Woolworth’s, Rexall and other national chains.^[5] In Nashville, Tennessee, Kress repeatedly refused to serve the protesters but eventually agreed to integrate the downtown store in exchange for ending a consumer boycott. The Greensboro, North Carolina Kress was included in the first civil rights demonstrations in the South.^[6] The Kress building in Baton Rouge was the site of that city’s first civil rights sit-in, which event helped save it from the wrecking ball 45 years later.^[7]

In the 1920s and 1930s Kress sold a house label of phonograph records under the “Romeo Records” trademark.

E.H. Steinberg Building (1611-1615 E. 7th)

This 2-story brick building, located in a row of similar masonry structures, retains many original features, including corbelling and decorative brickwork. Its storefronts and windows have been altered. Its wooden canopy remains in place.

Building was previously: (17) – Max Argintar Pawn & Clothing / Martin’s Uniforms

Inside the store in 1908