by admin ·
It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 6 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!My roommate is the most annoying person anyone can live with. But what get’s me the most is how unbelievably stupid he is. The other day we were eating take-out Chinese and I see him pop a fortune cookie in his mouth and swallow the whole damn thing, fortune paper and all. Then he says “OMG, do all fortune cookies have fortunes in them? ‘Cause I think I just ate paper.” The amazing thing is that wasn’t his first fortune cookie. He eats them all the time. What’s more amazing is that that was the THIRD time he’s forgotten to take out the fortune before eating. And all 3 times, he’s asked the same question.
While I was living in Korea I had a ‘building mate’ in a 14-story building. She was going out of town and asked if I could watch her diabetic cat for two weeks while she went on an exotic vacation with her boyfriend. I agreed; Little did I know what a decrepit hellion her sick cat was. Watching her cat was one of the worst experiences of my life. It vomited everywhere, it angrily shat all over her bed, and at all times possible spread kitty litter and poop all over the house. When I e-mailed her about this, she was very concerned about her cat and not at all concerned about the situation the cat put me in. Let me tell you giving the cat shots twice a day and being hissed at is NOT my idea of a fun time. When she returned and I asked how she intended to repay me for the terrible time I had, she threw a tantrum about how much of an ungrateful, good-for-nothing friend I was. Well, ‘friend’, I switched your bills with your Korean neighbor. Good luck dealing with the fees and trying to get things figured out with your non-English speaking landlord. Payback’s a bitch.
I get stoned and eat all the marshmallows out of your Lucky Charms.
I have an apartment of five girls, normally you’re supposed to have six but one of my roommates is an RA of the building, so she gets a room to herself. She has a strict rule that she has to be in bed between 9 and 9:30, and freaks out if anyone else is awake or loud enough to wake her. The building doesn’t have a strict curfew so we tend to ignore it. At the beginning of the year, after I found out how strict and evil she was, I decided to jump around violently on my bed and hit the walls around me until I heard her get up out of bed, and stomped her way down to hall to me and my friend’s room. Before, she bursts open the door, I jumped in bed and acted to be asleep. She stomps back to bed, and I jump around again, and act asleep. This goes on for a good 30 minutes until she asks my other roommates what the heck is going on. My roommate says “Oh, she has a sleeping disorder that causes her to do that. It’s pretty serious.” So now, halfway through the school year, whenever I have friends over and we’re too loud, my RA can’t do a damn thing about it because it’s probably just my sleeping disorder acting up.
Mckenzie Y. from UVU
For the past three years of college I’ve lived with two of my best friends from high school. We all get along really well, but we have one roommate who we just like to fuck with. One day while exploring our new apartment myself and my other roommate discovered the circuit breaker to our apartment was behind my bedroom door, after playing around with the switches we found out which ones control which lights and switches, most importantly we didn’t tell our prankable roommate. A couple weeks later while my one roommate was in the shower, myself and my third roommate decided to turn off the power to the bathroom that did not have any windows making it pitch black. He started screaming and shouting and we’re pretty sure we heard him slip and fall. While he was in there we started playing along making it sound like the whole apartment was without power, we even unplugged all the clocks so it looked legit. A few weeks later we did it again when he was in shower and laughed our asses off while hearing him shout “REALLY!? NOT AGAIN!” After that he went around to all of our friends in the complex asking if their power had gone out as well, but since we had asked them all to play along, he was convinced that it was just a freak accident that it kept happening while he was in the shower, he even went so far as calling the power company and our leasing agent. Eventually after about 4 dark as all hell showers he knew it was us. Too bad he has no ideas on how to prank us back.
J.V. from Michigan State
Hey there roomie, you know how you always battled me silently about the thermostat? How you always changed it to 60 degrees when I was out of the room or about to go to bed when it’s 30 degrees outside? I wonder if you ever figured out why you suddenly started changing that habit in the last term. You probably found yourself staying cold no matter what you did, even under a huge bundle of blankets on your bed, leaving you no choice but to turn the heat up. You even filled out about a dozen work orders to see if the thermostat reader was broken, but nope. It was working perfectly fine. The never-ending cold you were suffering might have been all of the freezer packs I stuck under your mattress pad when you left the room for dinner at night. Luckily I had a later class than you in the mornings, so I could grab the now-melted packs and re-freeze them for the next day. The best part was when you never realized this and thought I was using the twenty-plus packs taking up the entire freezer just for my in-class sandwiches.
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