Roommate Confessions: November 14, 2011
by admin ·
It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!
You know how your dog has started barking in the middle of the night and waking you up for the past couple months? Well I bought a dog whistle, and have been randomly blowing it throughout the night until the dog wakes you up. Pay me the money you owe me before I have to be even more creative tourmenting you.
Once, my roommate was bragging about going out on a date with this really hot girl. While he was out I went on Facebook. By the time he came back with her I had glued all of this girl’s Facebook photos all over our apartment.
My freshman year roommate was the biggest prick on Earth. Everything I hated in a person was exuded by this assclown. His hygiene was atrocious. He smelled like sour dough and weed. He was a degenerate hippie who would get stoned and watch Pulp Fiction at least 3 times a week telling me that it is a “phat” movie. One night during finals, he threw up in my laundry hamper, right in front of me. I could barely contain my rage. I consulted with some buddies down the hall and we decided we were going to shave a huge patch of his nasty, unwashed hippie hair (that he was going to grow out into some “phat” dreads). While he was passed out, we shaved a perfect 3” x 4” patch directly in the back of his head and signed all of our names with permanent markers (not a good idea). He requested a roommate change the next day.
So I’m visiting my cousin a couple hours away and his roommate that freaks out on my cousin all the time for no reason leaves the room. Well I happened to own the same laptop as this guy and knew a perfect prank to do in a few minutes. I made a new folder on his desktop called horse porn and downloaded a few normal horse pictures from Google so it would look like there was horse porn in the folder. I then took a screen shot of his desktop and put it as his background and deleted the pictures and the folder. He couldn’t figure out how to delete the file and ended up reformatting his computer with a previous backup. Turns out my cousin was paying attention to how I did it and now does it on a weekly basis.
I went by to get a free Monster or two from our Monster Rep on campus. I put them in my fridge and was going to drink them during finals week. My roommate stole my Monsters and drank them. No big deal until you lied about it, you prick. He’s a Mechanical Engineer student, and is always makes fun of me for studying marketing. He says business students don’t know shit. Well I went to get some more free Monsters from my buddy, and cut a small hole in them to drain them out. I then put my piss in them, put JB Weld to seal up the hole in the bottom, and gave them to him. Hope you enjoyed drinking my piss you asshole. Engineering students aren’t the only ones who know about JB Weld. Don’t fuck with a marketing student!
Josh P. from LETU
Submit yours here!