NiniaPimp Magazine

FILL-IN-THE-BLANK QUESTIONS
1.) Dude, be careful hitting on that ——- girl Jessica, because I totally ——- her last semester.
A. crazy . . got stalked by
B. depressed . . used her low self-esteem to take advantage of
C. underage . . legally adopted
D. pregnant . . put a baby in
E. zombie . . killed

2.) You don’t have to worry about ——- in your dorm room, as long as you ——- the RA.
A. getting’ freaky . . make a video of it for
B. practicing Satanism . . sacrifice a virgin to
C. distilling alcohol . . kidnap, and then disguise yourself as
D. allowing illegal immigrants to run a sweat shop . . give free textiles to
E. murder . . murder

3.) That professor is a real ——- and he totally ——- that midterm.
A. downer . . was writing a suicide note during
B. hero . . deserves to be knighted for
C. sex offender . . had sex with me on top of
D. big fan of child labor . . made Taiwanese six-year-olds grade
E. water buffalo . . blew my mind when he used his hoofs to distribute

TEXT-ANALYSIS QUESTIONS
From: NATALIE
To: JASON
Fun times this wknd! You were HILARIOUS. Cant w8 to C U soon!

4.) The word “HILARIOUS” most nearly means:
A. SO DRUNK
B. PLACED FIRMLY INTO MY FRIEND ZONE
C. MISPRONOUNCING MY NAME THE WHOLE NIGHT
D. NOT THE JASON I WAS THINKING OF WHEN I SAID I’D GO OUT WITH YOU
E. QUESTIONED BY THE POLICE FOR LONGER THAN SEEMED NECESSARY

5.) The abbreviation “C U” most likely stands for:
A. Cut U out of my life
B. Create a Universe in which we never met
C. Cruelly Un-friend you and totally tell everyone about it
D. Call Uther dudes
E. Clean out the map holder in my car where U vomited

6.) In context, the “Fun times” Natalie referred to were most probably:
A. illegal
B. unhealthy
C. filled with regret
D. tagged for your parent’s friends to see
E. all of the above

ANALOGIES
7.) MILLER LITE : TEQUILA ::
A. A- : D+
B. Burp : Puke
C. Misdemeanor : Felony
D. 1st base : Intercourse
E. Apologies : Child support

8.) CLASSMATE : ROOMMATE ::
A. Awkward goodbyes : Awkward good mornings
B. Hard to focus when they’re passing notes in class : Hard to pee when they’re passed out in the bathroom
C. Terrible hand writing : Terrible guitar playing
D. I copied your paper : I copied your identity
E. “Can you loan me a pencil?” : “Can you stop masturbating long enough to loan me a pencil?”

9.) BEER BONG : BONG ::
A. Running from the Cops : Watching Cops
B. Frat : Commune
C. Natty Ice : Northern Lights
D. Listening to Katy Perry : Listening to Katy Perry ironically
E. What? : Huh?

Submitted by: Unknown

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  a href=”http://failblog.org/2011/11/05/epic-fail-photos-appropriate-response-fail/?utm_source=embedutm_medium=webutm_campaign=sharewidget”img class=’event-item-lol-image’ src=’http://ninjapimp.com/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/1130f_epic-fail-photos-appropriate-response-fail.gif’ alt=”epic fail photos – Appropriate Response FAIL” title=”epic fail photos – Appropriate Response FAIL” height=”142px” width=”392px” //abr /see more a href=”http://failblog.org?utm_source=embedutm_medium=webutm_campaign=sharewidget”funny videos, and check out our Yo Dawg lols!/a

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This fail picture or video was posted on Saturday, November 5th, 2011 at 7:00 am

justginster from Castle Rock, CO on Oct.252011

I’ve only tried these on around the house so far, but man! What a struggle! I was sweating after battling to get these babies on! I generally wear a 6.5 and sized down to a 6 with these (6.5 was out of stock), so that may have had something to do with it…but other than having trouble getting these on and off, they fit perfectly fine. They seem super comfortable and I’m excited about figuring out all the different outfits I’ll be able to wear these with…they’re not super sexy, but they give a boost of height without sacrificing comfort. I’m just crossing my fingers that eventually the straps will stretch out a bit to make getting them on a little easier!

Originally posted at Buzzillions.com (legalese)

Born Women’s Teirney Pump
Make a bold style statement in this striking peep-toe pump – Full grain leather upper with stud and buckle accents – Side zipper for easy on and off – Leather lining – Lightly padded footbed – Manmade sole  3-3/4″ heel height -  Available in whole sizes only, half sizes please order the next…

Amanda from Springfield, MO on Oct.272011

I originally bought this water bottle for a trip I took through Europe; however, since then I have used it for rock climbing, running, hiking, camping, and everyday use. Prior to this Camelbak, I had used a traditional wide mouthed Nalgene bottle, an aluminum bottle, and a similarly modeled plastic Target brand bottle with a straw.

I decided to get this water bottle based on its filter; however there are features which I have found extremely useful. The loop which comes off the back has been useful for clipping my keys, gym pass, and even carabineer to.

The straw, albeit difficult to use while running, is a creative way to keep the bottle from leaking. With the Nalgene I often found the mouth opening big enough to where water would splash me in the face, and with the Target bottle the straw didn’t close and often leaked. I also think the changeable mouthpieces help keep a long lifespan for this water bottle.

I have never had bad tasting water come through my filter. I have been using it frequently for roughly six months, in Europe and at school, and am just now changing my first filter. I think that the filter makes is slightly more difficult to drink out of the straw. I found that if I used the Camelbak Groove while running it would make me somewhat winded.

I have dropped my Groove several times, as well as took it on a couple of long plane flights, and it has yet to crack or leak. I feel like the filter takes up a lot of room in the bottle though, and I end up refilling it 2 to 3 times a day.

I thought that this water bottle was expensive when I bought it, though I believe that it has probably saved me money and hassle in the long run. I didn’t have to buy distilled water in Europe, and I can count on water from drinking fountains at school to taste great.

My Camelbak Groove has worked well for my active lifestyle, and I would be willing to try more of their products in the future.

Originally posted at Buzzillions.com (legalese)

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NEW YORK—The Pulitzer Prize Board announced Friday that it was expanding the scope of its prestigious journalism and arts awards with the introduction of a new Giant Pumpkin category. “Recognizing the hugest pumpkins is another way to honor the standard of excellence embodied by the Pulitzer Prize,” said co-chair Ann Marie Lipinski, adding that the forklift and industrial platform scale to be used for Pulitzer weigh-ins had already been brought into the board’s Columbia University office. “Over the years, we have conferred honors upon some of the most distinguished writers and artists in the nation, and all pumpkins under consideration will be required to have attained that same level of achievement.” Although the official Pulitzer finalists will not be announced until April, favorites to win include The New York Times, The Baltimore Sun, and “Big Bertha,” a 1,587-pound pumpkin grown in Lodi, WI.