Archive for September 22nd, 2011
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As the host of FactZone, Brooke Alvarez is one of the world’s most recognizable news figures. Growing up in Russia, Brooke dreamed of being famous and powerful. She emigrated to U.S., erased all trace of her Russian accent within three weeks, and began her systematic ascent to the top of the news industry. The details of this rapid climb through the various lesser networks to end up at the Onion News Network was the subject of “The Devil Incarnate” a book refuted by Brooke as “the pathetic scrawlings of a bitter and jealous acne-scarred half-reporter.”
A prolific Twitter user, Brooke tweets 20 to 40 times a day, often while her guests are talking. She’s appeared as herself in more than a dozen motion pictures although there is some debate whether she understood that the words on her teleprompter were fictional and where they would eventually appear. Brooke owns five corgi dogs, her favorite food is kale, and she is married to author Thomas Pynchon.
Brooke is active in charity work, having formed a foundation to teach newscaster dialect to young urban teens. She’s politically motivated as well, publicly campaigning against wind farms whenever her schedule allows.
While the media has made much of her long-standing feuds with both Wolf Blitzer and Yo Yo Ma, Brooke insists she is easy to get along with as long as everyone understands their place.
Brooke stays healthy and happy by swimming 20 miles each day in the resistance pool in her office.
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Do your parents not understand technology? Do they ask you stupid questions? Do they send you absurd text messages? If you’ve got an example of your “Parents Just Don’t Understanding”, submit it here!
And thank God we’ll never be as dumb as they are!
My mum once accidentally deleted her photos from her camera after copying them to the computer.
In her panic to get them back on the camera’s SD card (where all her photos are stored permanently) she spent the next half an hour taking photos of the computer screen as she viewed each photo one by one.
Every time I bring my laptop to my grandma’s house, she asks me to show her facebook photos, and every time, I have to explain to her that she doesn’t have an internet connection. She then yells at me because I “keep forgetting to bring the internet with me.”
My geography professor printed out a page of links for us to visit. Not the URLs… just the titles of the pages. For some reason I can’t click them when they are on paper.
Paul Frederickson from UW Rock County
This morning I woke up to 182 e-mails, each containing an attachment of one picture. This was the only way my mom thought she could get photos off of her iPad, because “she didn’t want to lose them.”
My art history professor (75 and senile) recently converted all of her slides to digital format so she can project them from her computer. Everyday she calls on the same student to get up and simply maximize the screen because she cannot figure it out. She says he has “magic fingers.”
I use my mom’s iPad to play with apps. She wants more memory for her stuff, so she asked me if she could delete the games that I play on her iPad. After hours and hours of arguing with my mom, she still thinks you can play with apps on my mac book pro because I have a “clicker” (track pad).
My dad, upon my request to forward me an email he had received, pauses and ponders the term “forward”. 30 minutes after hanging up with him, I receive an email, with an attachment. The attachment is the “forwarded” email…. he had printed it out, scanned it in and sent it to me as an attachment.
David Hardee from Old School
My Dad was planning a golf tournament. He found a website of another golf tournament by the same name. He told me that he “downloaded” the site. I wasn’t sure what he meant by that, so I inquired further. He printed EVERYTHING on the site. The website has nothing to do with him and has no relevance to him except the tournament has the same name. I think he kills a tree a year because he prefers to read things on paper rather than on the computer.
Chris Faulkner from UMass Amherst
My mom is the accountant at our family’s church. She uses the computer all day, everyday to do her work. Recently she was talking to my dad about how she spent hours searching google for a free 2012 calendar so she could get some tax forms ready at work. She had no idea that the clock in the taskbar had a calendar or that her outlook, which she also uses everyday, has a calendar in it too.
Every time my parents come stay with us, my dad will ask “How do you get the tv to work?” What makes this so frustrating is that we both have Dish Network, everything is identical even the remotes.
Miles S from UNL
Submit yours here!
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by admin ·
Harpjohn from Glastonbury UK on Sep.142011
out of 5
I used guitar tuners for years, and often found them too imprecise and slow in sampling, easily confused. Then I found this Peterson V-SAM, and it’s the best. The other tuners are now simply a very second best. The V-SAM samples tones very fast, is super accurate, easy to read, is very reliable, and 10 times as accurate as the usual guitar tuners. Great for setting up guitars, harps and checking any instrument. The quality is enjoyed long after the price is forgotten.
VSAM Virtual Strobe Audio Tuner and Metronome
Peterson introduces the “V-SAM”, a combination of programmable VIRTUAL STROBE tuner, AUDIO tone generator, and METRONOME in a hand-held format. It marries the revolutionary Virtual Strobe Technology first introduced in the VS-1 tuner with new, brighter, high-contrast display. The V-SAM’s “tuner mod…