It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 7 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to
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You were a horrible roommate. You were always smoking in the room and never cleaning up anything that you left on the floor. So I filled all the toilets in the apartment with green dye. Than number I gave you to call about plumbers was my friend, when he told you it might have been pipe leakage you freaked out and bought us all new toilets just so you wouldnt have to worry about the landlady. Thanks for the new toilets bro!
J.B.
Hey “D”, we all know it was you who stole our rent money. We also know you stole microphones and other stuff from the band room before you suddenly moved out after we filed a police report. We also know that you remote-deleted our voicemail messages; but it seemed you stopped checking after a month or so, and that’s when the police called and left a message to let us know the results of the polygraph — that you actually, stupidly, volunteered for — confirmed what we knew all along. But that’s okay, we found your stash of homemade porn. You know, the ones where you’d bring drunk ditch-pigs to our house from the bar and shag them on camera. We thought we would do the public a service by plastering frame-grabs all over the washrooms at the clubs. Just in case you were wondering why everyone was laughing at you. Hope you’re enjoying the dry spell, douchebag.
G.R.
One night during my soph year, a friend and I had each brought a guy back from a green frat to my dormroom. Needless to say, there were a-many condoms strewn across said room after, which we picked up afterwards. My dearest, sheltered roomie always went home on the weekends, so I got away with doing shit like this. Unfortunately, when she returned Sunday night, she found a used one on her side. By the time I got back from work, she practically was moved out of the room before I could explain to her and the RA that I “won” a box of condoms from the drag show and were blowing them up for shits and giggles. Guess we forgot to pick that one up when we cleaned up. Sorry love!
Anonymous from UE
Two months after school started you turned into this psycho bitch. You were always ranting about how I never slept in my own bed, because I was screwing around with everyone (I had a boyfriend so it wasn’t everyone). You would say how God wouldn’t be too happy with me and you’d always leave Bible passages by my bed. I’d tell you that I do believe in God, and you’d always call me a liar, which was also another sin. You’d always call me a slut under your breath, and I really didn’t care. Then you went around telling everyone that I was a slut. You even had the audacity to write it on our roommate board outside of our room. Enough was enough! I remember you telling me stories about you and your twin brother, how close you were, and how you told each other everything. How religious your family was and how your dad was a pastor. You told me that you and your brother were both virgins and I took full advantages of that. I went on a couple of dates with him, which really pissed you off, because you didn’t want him to hang out with a girl like me. Then after awhile me and your brother slept together. Oh and FYI I’m not the one who insisted, he was. Just so you know now me and your brother have sex regularly. Even some times in your bed. See I might be a slut, but now your brother is too! I hope he tell told you everything!
Kayla M from MSU
This is a story about how I was pranked. Freshmen year there was a girl living in the room next to me (co-ed dorms), with whom I would hang out with all the time. We were really good friends and one day I heard that she has a strange fear of socks. So as a joke, I forced socks onto her feet and she freaked out for some reason. She vowed to get me back and I didn’t listen. Big mistake. Now, I have arachnophobia, meaning I’m deathly afraid of spiders. So she got the key from my roommate, printed off hundreds of pictures of different spiders and tarantulas and the scariest pictures she could find on the internet, and put them everywhere in my room. Not a single thing was not covered; the walls, my desk, in my textbooks, in my clothes, everything. She waited for me to come home, watched as I walked in the room, and held the door closed when I screamed like a girl and tried to get out (although I was too scared to touch the door because there were spiders all over it). I was stuck in there for about a minute and practically crying. She said that if I tried to prank her back after that she would get a real tarantula and put it in my pillow. Let’s just say that she won.
Stephen M. from Syracuse University
Last semester I had a roommate who would always make me look bad in front of friends, especially really cute girls. When ever he gets invited to a party he always asks me for a ride because he doesn’t have a car. So one day while we were eating lunch a couple of girls invited him to a party. Later on that night he started whining about how his stomach hurts. I was in the bathroom showering when he came pounding on the door telling me to hurry because he had to take a major dump. I told him to wait, that I was almost done. He kept complaining and said he was gonna ask someone else. As soon as he ran out, I ran to the kitchen and grabbed the saran wrap and wrapped the toilet seat, knowing he wouldn’t look before he sat down. I went in the hall and told him I was out the shower. He pushed me out the way and ran into the bathroom. 10 seconds later he was yelling and I knew exactly why. He started yelling asking me to bring him so more toilet paper because I had taken it out. I stayed quiet so he’d think I had left the room. When he came out I took pictures of his butt covered in crap with my camera phone. I went to the party without him. When the girls asked where he was, I told them he had a wardrobe malfunction. He transferred out at the end of the semester out of fear that I had showed everyone his dirty mishap.
E.J. from Texas AM University
One of my roommates is a general bitch, she was nice to begin with but half way through semester she took a turn for the worst. She had this boyfriend that I and our other roommate really liked, she kept telling us her problems with him but would not break up with him. Needless to say my other roommate and I found out she was cheating on him with another guy. My other roommate and I decided to create an anonymous lover for her to fall over. We left flowers candies and poems for her in her inbox. She eventually left her boyfriend and her lover for the romantic lover. My friend and I had not forseen this so we left her a note saying that it was an accident and the notes and candies were meant to be for someother girl in our dorm. The two guys eventually found out about each other and thegirl hasn’t had a boyfriend since last year, I feel sort of bad but at the same time karma’s a major bitch innit?
Anonymous
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