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Archive for June 30th, 2011

06.30
11

There I Fixed It: Yeah, But a Leaf Blower Doesn’t Keep Me Cool Inside My House Later

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epic fail photos - There I Fixed It: Yeah, But a Leaf Blower Doesn't Keep Me Cool Inside My House Later

See more clever kludges and fixes over at, There I Fixed It!

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    a href=”http://failblog.org/2011/06/30/there-i-fixed-it-yeah-but-a-leaf-blower-doesnt-keep-me-cool-inside-my-house-later/?utm_source=embedutm_medium=webutm_campaign=sharewidget”img class=’event-item-lol-image’ src=’http://ninjapimp.com/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/b18d2_white-trash-repairs-redneck-leaf-blower.jpg’ alt=”epic fail photos – There I Fixed It: Yeah, But a Leaf Blower Doesn’t Keep Me Cool Inside My House Later” title=”epic fail photos – There I Fixed It: Yeah, But a Leaf Blower Doesn’t Keep Me Cool Inside My House Later” height=”648px” width=”500px” //abr /see more a href=”http://failblog.org?utm_source=embedutm_medium=webutm_campaign=sharewidget”funny videos, and check out our Yo Dawg lols!/a

This fail picture or video was posted on Thursday, June 30th, 2011 at 2:45 pm

06.30
11

Monkey Bar Dismount FAIL

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This fail picture or video was posted on Thursday, June 30th, 2011 at 3:00 pm

06.30
11

25 Things from the 90′s We Hope Never Come Back

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1. Soul Patches

The soul patch is, arguably, the most illogical of all 90’s trends. The chin strap beard, while stupid, clearly said, “I do too have a chin. I outlined it in my face hair. See?” The goatee wordlessly declared, “I’m an assh*le!” So what did a soul patch say? “The only thing I follow more religiously than minor league baseball is trends involving confused displays of masculinity.” If you ever had a soul patch, please take a moment to stew in your shame. If you still have a soul patch, you’ve got a little barbecue sauce in there.

2. JNCOs

Perhaps it was because of all of the Skip-It related chafing wounds, or just a general fondness for the feel of perpetually filthy shreds of fabric flopping against your calves, but, in the 90’s, nothing was cooler than going to Kohl’s with your mom to buy a fly new pair of JNCOs. WAS, being the operative word. We can all agree now that the circumference of your “pipes” should not exceed the length of your inseam. It just looks stupid. It doesn’t matter how many yo-yo’s you had stashed in there; no one needs that much room in their pants.

3. Leather Pants

No one who was over the age of 11 at any point in the 90’s made it through the decade without wondering, “Could I pull off leather pants?” The answer, ubiquitously, was, “No,” but Ricky Martin, Crazy Spice, and the actresses on Charmed were unrelenting in their desire to make leather pants last. In the end, the insane dry cleaning bills and the fact that you can’t take anyone in leather pants seriously defeated this terrible trend. Just in case: no. You can’t pull off leather pants. Don’t try to bring them back. No.

4. Thug Looney Tunes Shirts

Nothing proves the collective idiocy of the 90’s more than the fact that a group of businessmen thought, “People will probably buy T-shirts with Looney Tunes characters dressed in ‘urban’ attire,” and then people actually bought them. This fad predated the safety mechanism of ironic fashion. If you wore an oversized T-shirt with a picture of Bugs Bunny wearing baggy, backwards jeans, you genuinely thought it was cool. At some point in the 90’s, at least one person was probably held at gun point by someone in a gangster Tasmanian Devil T-shirt. Just think about that and vow to never let this fashion trend return.

5. Backwards Jeans

Why was Bugs Bunny dressed in backwards jeans? Oh yeah. Because that was a thing people did. Specifically “Mac Daddy” and “Daddy Mac” of the hip-hop group Kris Kross. They are to blame for countless misplaced beepers and chaos at junior high urinals. This is the kind of trend that can only be discussed by using the phrase “youth culture” in the most crotchety tone of distanced disparagement, but, come on, you tried your jeans on backwards. Just don’t try it again.

06.30
11

Coffee Brand FAIL

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epic fail photos - Coffee Brand FAIL

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This fail picture or video was posted on Thursday, June 30th, 2011 at 9:00 am

06.30
11

Engrish Funny: This Ride Sounds Like it’s Going to Hurt

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epic fail photos - Engrish Funny: This Ride Sounds Like it's Going to Hurt

Thangs you for come to fisiting us at Enrgish Funny!

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This fail picture or video was posted on Thursday, June 30th, 2011 at 9:45 am

06.30
11

Olive Garden Voted Best Italian Restaurant In Annual ‘Milwaukee Magazine’ Awards

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MILWAUKEE, WI—For the second straight year, Olive Garden took top honors in the “Best Italian Restaurant” category in Milwaukee Magazine‘s annual “Best Of Milwaukee” poll. “For authentic Italian cuisine and friendly service (they call it Hospitaliano), the Blue Mound Road Olive Garden is the one to beat,” wrote the magazine, whose readers voted for the chain restaurant over such local stalwarts as Mimma’s Cafe and Balistreri’s. “Once again, Olive Garden is Milwaukee’s finest.” High marks were also given to the Mayfair Mall Chi-Chi’s, voted “Best Date Spot” for the third year running.

06.30
11

TMZ Dayton Bureau Catches Secondhand Furniture-Store Owner Coming Out Of All-Night Truck Stop

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DAYTON, OH—The Dayton bureau of the website TMZ.com has obtained photographs of used-furniture dealer Gerry Flanagan, the self-proclaimed Scratch-and-Dent King of Ohio, exiting the Copper Griddle truck stop well after 10 p.m. last night. “Looks like this former fatty—who claims his losses on reconditioned sofas are even bigger than the losses to his waistline—is trying to make up some lost ground,” TMZ Dayton editor Rick Benton wrote in a blog post this morning. “If he keeps wallowing in the steak and egg special, this king’s going to need a bigger throne!” Flanagan has already taken TMZ to court over photos of a “saucy—and somewhat ‘cheeky’—swimsuit slip” he experienced while exiting his pickup truck at the beach last July.

06.30
11

Kent State Basketball Team Massacred By Ohio National Guard In Repeat Of Classic 1970 Matchup

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KENT, OH—History and tragedy repeated themselves on the Kent State campus Thursday as 12th-seeded MAC champion Kent State Golden Flashes were decimated in front of a chanting, screaming home crowd by the superior offensive firepower and tactical game plan of the fifth-seeded Ohio National Guard in the very first round of this year’s NCAA tournament.

“It was an absolute bloodbath,” said Kent State head coach Jim Christian, who said he was “still in shock” from the on-court massacre. “We certainly weren’t ready for what happened out there… It seemed like one minute we were getting ready to square off, and the next they were just taking shot after shot. They kept shooting all day long, and we just couldn’t defend against them out there.”

“It was like they couldn’t miss,” said senior forward Kevin Warzynski. “They were taking shots from the lane, shooting from the perimeter, everywhere… We left it all on the floor, but they just killed us out there tonight.”

“You never think something like this is going to happen,” said Warzynski. “It was a disgrace. It’s going to be a long time before we recover from this shameful performance.”

Some observers have speculated that the National Guard squad began shooting aggressively in response to Kent State sniper Jay Youngblood, the student-athlete they believed to be the most dangerous on the court. Official stats reveal that the National Guard took an unusually high 67 shots in the first minute alone.

At press time, the National Guard staff was refusing to comment in depth on its part in what the press, players, and public alike are calling “an atrocity.”

“My men were just doing what they were trained to do,” said National Guard adjutant coach Bobby Canterbury. “You can’t blame them. If the other guys get blown away, well, then we’re doing our job.”

Kent State players and fans alike began the night with an optimistic attitude, having clinched the MAC conference championship and its automatic tournament bid just the previous Saturday. In the days leading up to the contest, there was little mention of the possible historical impact of the first meeting between the two rivals in over 30 years.

“Yeah, I remember the loss we suffered to the Ohio National Guard in 1970—everyone does,” said Kent State sports-information director Jeff Schaefer Thursday night, referring to the annihilation at the hands of the Guard that spawned the still-popular stadium anthem “Ohio.” “That catastrophic defeat was more than an important moment in sports history—it was a seminal moment in American history. And now it’s happened again.”

“I was only a kid when that happened, but I still knew that performance was a national disgrace,” said Kent State student and basketball fan Lori Klaus, who was seated close to the action in the student section and was wounded when an opposing shooting guard charged into the stands to fight for possession. “I was trying not to think about it when I came tonight. You think something like that can’t happen anymore, but… I guess now I’m part of history, too.”

“Why?” Klaus asked those around her. “Why did they do this?”

06.30
11

University Of Michigan Expands Michigan Stadium To Seat Everyone In Michigan

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06.30
11

Ohio State Uses T-Shirt Blaster To Pass Out Diplomas

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